The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal."A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situ

Essay topics:

The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

The author’s claim seems at first glance, quite convincing because the similar increase of cortisol is discovered in first born monkeys, human infant and first-time mothers. However, a meticulous analysis might reveal that there are other possibilities accountable for these facts and the author’s hypothesis that birth order has an impact on level of stimulation might not be true.

First, the increase of cortisol levels might not be the result of stimulation, but rather growth difference. The test might be conducted on both the firstborn monkeys and the younger siblings at the same time, but the firstborn monkeys are physically stronger because they are relatively older, and this growth advance might be accountable for the increase of cortisol levels due to the fact that cortisol level is higher in more matured body. The same explanation could be accountable for human infant as well.

Second, even if the test was conducted at different time to make sure that all infants are at the same growth level, another explanation might be accountable for the increase of cortisol level in firstborn humans presented in the study. It could turn out to be the case that the firstborn infant is his/her parents favorite child and receives the most affections. Therefore the bond is tighter for the firstborn with his/her parents than the siblings, and the child will show stronger reaction when a parent is returned after disappearance, and consequently produces more cortisol. This explanation can also apply to the firstborn infant monkey experiment. I could turn out that the firstborn monkey is much dependent to its parents than other siblings due to the more affections the infant receives, and therefore the monkey would be more scared when it encounters an unfamiliar monkey. But the other infants might be inured to this situation because they don’t receive much attention from their parents and are more independent.

Third, the fact that first-time mother monkeys had higher cortisol level than others cannot support the author’s hypothesis because there are various interpretations for this fact. A possible scenario is that, monkey mothers become physically weaker each time after giving birth to an infant, and so the higher level of cortisol is resulted from the relative stronger physical health. Also, the higher level of cortisol in first-time mothers doesn’t necessarily mean that this trait will transfer to the firstborn infant.

In conclusion, several alternative explanations may be accountable for the facts presented in the experiment, and the author may need to more experiment to preclude such possibilities in order to make his/her hypothesis impeccable.

Votes
Average: 7.2 (6 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 430 350
No. of Characters: 2217 1500
No. of Different Words: 188 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.554 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.156 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.732 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 162 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 123 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 95 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.435 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.933 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.393 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.619 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.181 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5