The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.

Cooperation is an important task of each person living in a society. All people can develop their society with cooperation. Some people believe that we should prepare our future leaders in different fields by creating a sense of cooperation between young people; others disagree. In my view, the cooperation is a vital key that can help a society make progress so this sense has to be created.

First, when young people working in a society, know that the main goals of a society can be achieved by cooperation, they try to help each other in different area instead of detrimental competition. For example, there are two company producing the same products in my city. A few years ago, its bosses competing together. If one of them reduce its costs, other one was trying to reduce its cost further. They were going ahead in this way until two years ago that they both had to close their company because of not gaining enough profits. But last year, both company decided to work together and help each other. One company was good at producing and packaging other one was good at advertising. As a result, just after six month they gained a huge benefit from their cooperation.

Second, if there was not a detrimental competition, all capacity of society will be used. For instance, consider there is a competition between young people to be selected for working in industry. There are not an infinite capacity for the industry to hire all of them. This competition causes stress and some young people may become hopeless because of not being selected by company. However, the company can just hire a few of them but the company should create a organization to use capacity of all people. If all of them can not be selected, the company can train others and use them in other areas.

However, we should consider that sometime competition would be beneficial rather than detrimental. People working in a organization should know that there is a difference between some who do his best and one that dose not try. This helpful competition would be beneficial for young people and the company.

In sum, some may disagree with my position but I think that feeling the sense of cooperation in a society would be more helpful rather than a sense of competition. However, a useful competition should not be ignored.

Votes
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 212, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...of detrimental competition. For example, there are two company producing the same...
^^
Line 3, column 726, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'month' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'months'.
Suggestion: months
...dvertising. As a result, just after six month they gained a huge benefit from their c...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 465, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...w of them but the company should create a organization to use capacity of all peo...
^
Line 7, column 118, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...her than detrimental. People working in a organization should know that there is ...
^
Line 9, column 140, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ociety would be more helpful rather than a sense of competition. However, a usefu...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, may, second, so, as to, for example, for instance, i think, as a result, in my view

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.5258426966 108% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.4196629213 137% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 14.8657303371 61% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.3162921348 88% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 33.0505617978 106% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 58.6224719101 84% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 12.9106741573 155% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1924.0 2235.4752809 86% => OK
No of words: 398.0 442.535393258 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.83417085427 5.05705443957 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46653527281 4.55969084622 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66345879965 2.79657885939 95% => OK
Unique words: 183.0 215.323595506 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.459798994975 0.4932671777 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 614.7 704.065955056 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.99550561798 100% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.2370786517 114% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 23.0359550562 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 37.043631353 60.3974514979 61% => OK
Chars per sentence: 83.652173913 118.986275619 70% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.3043478261 23.4991977007 74% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.69565217391 5.21951772744 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 10.2758426966 117% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.83258426966 166% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.289978849523 0.243740707755 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0821949547153 0.0831039109588 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0654607698157 0.0758088955206 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.151893171432 0.150359130593 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0475613462964 0.0667264976115 71% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.0 14.1392134831 71% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 48.8420337079 128% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 12.1743820225 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.44 12.1639044944 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.1 8.38706741573 85% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 100.480337079 66% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 11.8971910112 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.2143820225 78% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.