Claim: Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.Reason: It is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.Write a response in which you discuss the e

Essay topics:

Claim: Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.
Reason: It is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.

In asserting that governments must dedicate enough financial support to their major cities, in order to survive, the author failed to acknowledge other diverse issues – the paramount importance of small cities and the role they can play in a government’s tradition and history advertisement – besides allotting money to major cities. Nevertheless, I agree with the statement to the extent that the mentioned government is “only” allotting money for financial prosperity. In other cases, as will be elucidated in the points below, it will not be so.
Due to ambiguous nature of the phrase “thrive”, I will assume it means financial prosperity. Admittedly, when a government’s budget goes to its major cities, the companies and people will have more money, in hand. As a result, more jobs are provided and therefore the productivity develops in the country. Take for instance Japan, Nowadays, japan has few major cities and the rest are village people. Allotting enough time and financial support to its major cities, the government is now a pioneer leader in the car industry and electronics. Not to mention their export rate and job market. Consequently, it can be seen that giving enough credit to major cities, financially, by governments can assure a society’ prosperity.
In addition, in order for a community to thrive, the community needs to advertise its culture by means of tourism. If so, the society will have more money in hand, and more money means proliferation. An example can shed light on this issue. In Shiraz, Iran, ‘Takhte Jamshid’ is one of the things that Persians are fond of. Supporting financially to conserve this thousands-of-year-old ancient metropolis, Persian government has ensured the profound tourism attraction in this city. As a result, a government’s future thriving can be assured by supporting financially its major cities’ tourism industry.
With these examples, it could be argued that governments can only thrive with financially supporting their major cities, but when viewed holistically, it is not because the tradition and the history of a government are lied beneath small cities and villages. Last year, I went to Shaft, Iran, north of Guilan to take some photos. What I saw was an eye opening landmark with rich history and tradition. However, due to lack of budget, the road to Shaft was only half way, I had to take a long walk to reach the landmark “Imamzade Hashem”. As a result, if the Iranian government had provided enough financial support for the small villages and cities alike, they would have been able to thrive with respect to the fact that tradition and history of a society are only found in its small cities.

In conclusion, I agree with the statement only to the extent that governments are concerned with the financial thriving and development. In other cases, as mentioned above, the situation is far different.

Votes
Average: 7 (2 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 427, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... extent that the mentioned government is apos;only apos; allotting money for fina...
^^
Line 2, column 38, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
.... Due to ambiguous nature of the phrase apos;thrive apos;, I will assume it mean...
^^
Line 3, column 257, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ed light on this issue. In Shiraz, Iran, apos;Takhte Jamshid apos; is one of the ...
^^
Line 3, column 368, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
... of. Supporting financially to conserve this thousands of year old ancient metropoli...
^^^^
Line 4, column 220, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'lain'.
Suggestion: lain
...ion and the history of a government are lied beneath small cities and villages. Last...
^^^^
Line 4, column 518, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...o take a long walk to reach the landmark apos;Imamzade Hashem apos;. As a result,...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, but, consequently, however, if, nevertheless, so, therefore, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, as a result, with respect to

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.5258426966 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.4196629213 113% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 14.8657303371 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.3162921348 80% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 33.0505617978 97% => OK
Preposition: 62.0 58.6224719101 106% => OK
Nominalization: 23.0 12.9106741573 178% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2467.0 2235.4752809 110% => OK
No of words: 485.0 442.535393258 110% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08659793814 5.05705443957 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69283662038 4.55969084622 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82920859937 2.79657885939 101% => OK
Unique words: 226.0 215.323595506 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.465979381443 0.4932671777 94% => OK
syllable_count: 775.8 704.065955056 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 6.24550561798 160% => OK
Interrogative: 2.0 0.740449438202 270% => OK
Article: 9.0 4.99550561798 180% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.10617977528 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 11.0 4.38483146067 251% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.2370786517 114% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 70.4531913678 60.3974514979 117% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.260869565 118.986275619 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0869565217 23.4991977007 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.08695652174 5.21951772744 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 7.80617977528 77% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 10.2758426966 117% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.83258426966 186% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.277209747589 0.243740707755 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0779041558199 0.0831039109588 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0750984384125 0.0758088955206 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.16425704191 0.150359130593 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0542325354235 0.0667264976115 81% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 14.1392134831 93% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.8420337079 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.1743820225 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.24 12.1639044944 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.45 8.38706741573 101% => OK
difficult_words: 116.0 100.480337079 115% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 11.8971910112 118% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.7820224719 119% => OK

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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.