Governments should invest as much in the arts as they do in the military.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.
The statements, though very enticing to me personally, declares that any government should invest in art as much as they do in military. I can easily imagine such a society where everybody has access to arts, have opportunity to enjoy Tchaikovsky and Beethoven performed by, for example, Matsuyev or Gaysin, or read the first original version of Tolstoy or visit Metropolitan every day and have an all-embracing guidance to every masterpiece. And, on the other hand, i can easily imagine millions of gifted children who do not hesitate choosing artistic career because, if art is supported by government, they will maintain the existence at least equivalent to their abilities. I can easily imagine how gregarious and equanimous could become a society, how much beauty would appear and disseminated throughout the world.
Such an idealistic, i would even say utopian, concept, unfortunately, does not stand any critique. To begin with, opportunity is not equal to action or motivation. Though even if people will have an access to greatest artistic works does not mean that they take a chance and go for it. The reason why people may omit art from their daily routines is not only because most people are mentally lazy, do not want to think a lot and prefer ready solutions to elaborated thinking, but also because modern people can barely break their humdrums even for their own kids, enjoying rare vacations and local events, too tired to be active.
Except for people who most probably wont appreciate increased opportunities to indulge themselves in such a sochisticated pleasures, that particular people might even become more anxious when know that countries security is not substantiated enough or (at some severe cases) even compromised. Imagine hostile, bellicose neighbouring country that is accumulating military muscles on a daily basis while your country is investing in music. That won't comfort you a lot, right?
To sum up, art is a nice place to invest. But, as famed Maslou noted within his pyramid, safety first, and self-expression (read art) is a top of the pyramid.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 468, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...ry masterpiece. And, on the other hand, i can easily imagine millions of gifted c...
^
Line 2, column 21, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...ughout the world. Such an idealistic, i would even say utopian, concept, unfort...
^
Line 2, column 197, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[1]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'access'.
Suggestion: access
...vation. Though even if people will have an access to greatest artistic works does not mea...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 207, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'to the greatest'.
Suggestion: to the greatest
...ough even if people will have an access to greatest artistic works does not mean that they ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 203, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'countries'' or 'country's'?
Suggestion: countries'; country's
...even become more anxious when know that countries security is not substantiated enough or...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, so, while, at least, except for, for example, to begin with, to sum up, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 19.5258426966 51% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.4196629213 97% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 14.8657303371 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.3162921348 88% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 33.0505617978 70% => OK
Preposition: 33.0 58.6224719101 56% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 5.0 12.9106741573 39% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1745.0 2235.4752809 78% => OK
No of words: 341.0 442.535393258 77% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.11730205279 5.05705443957 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.29722995808 4.55969084622 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88926112112 2.79657885939 103% => OK
Unique words: 216.0 215.323595506 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.633431085044 0.4932671777 128% => OK
syllable_count: 566.1 704.065955056 80% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 6.24550561798 112% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 20.2370786517 64% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 23.0359550562 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 97.8680430281 60.3974514979 162% => OK
Chars per sentence: 134.230769231 118.986275619 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.2307692308 23.4991977007 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.92307692308 5.21951772744 171% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.83258426966 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.142677630414 0.243740707755 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0542322411613 0.0831039109588 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.053280515041 0.0758088955206 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0733420585649 0.150359130593 49% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0196308805234 0.0667264976115 29% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.8 14.1392134831 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 36.63 48.8420337079 75% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.1743820225 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.71 12.1639044944 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.56 8.38706741573 114% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 100.480337079 100% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 11.8971910112 160% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.2143820225 111% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.