Last October the city of Belleville installed high intensity lighting in its central business district and vandalism there declined within a month The city of Amburg has recently begun police patrols on bicycles in its business district but the rate of va

Essay topics:

"Last October the city of Belleville installed high-intensity lighting in its central business district, and vandalism there declined within a month. The city of Amburg has recently begun police patrols on bicycles in its business district, but the rate of vandalism there remains constant. We should install high-intensity lighting throughout Amburg, then, because doing so is a more effective way to combat crime. By reducing crime in this way, we can revitalize the declining neighborhoods in our city."

The author concludes that installing high-intensity lighting throughout Amburg is the effective way to combat crime and by reducing crime in this way, the declining neighborhoods in their city can be revitalize. To support the conclusion, he cites various evidences. Although these evidences appear to bolster the argument, a meticulous analysis will show otherwise. Hence, in order to make the argument more sound, the author needs to cite the following specific evidences.

First of all, the writer presumes that the structure of both the cities Belleville and Amburg are same. It is possible that both the cities have totally different structure. If both the cities are made of different structure, consequently the policy which works well in the city of Belleville effectively doesn't have intended result in the city of Amburg. Hence, installing high-intensity lighting throughout Amburg may not combat crime as it has done in the city of Belleville. If this was the case, then the author's assumption considerably weakens.

Second of all, the author assumes that the rate of vandalism remains constant in the city of Amburg. Since the police just begun patrols on bicycles in its business district, it is possible that the vandalism mainly happens in the residential area. If this was the case, instead of installing high-intensity lighting throughout Amburg, police may focus on the main area where vandalism occurs most.

Third of all, the author presumes that the electricity availability in the city of Amburg is similar to the city of Belleville. However, it is possible that the city in Amburg has very few amount of electricity which cannot affort for high-intensity lighting. If this was the case, then the author's assumption doesn't hold water and which significantly weaken the argument.

In sum, in order to make the argument more sound, the author needs to cite the above three specific evidences. Withouth these specific evidences, I can not agree with the writer's assertion.

Votes
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 465, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...to cite the following specific evidences First of all the writer presumes that th...
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Line 3, column 55, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...he writer presumes that the structure of both the cities Belleville and Amburg ar...
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Line 3, column 175, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...ties have totally different structure If both the cities are made of different st...
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Line 3, column 304, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...l in the city of Belleville effectively doesnt have intended result in the city of Amb...
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Line 3, column 504, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...elleville If this was the case then the authors assumption considerably weakens Sec...
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Line 3, column 543, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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... authors assumption considerably weakens Second of all the author assumes that th...
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Line 5, column 391, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...he main area where vandalism occurs most Third of all the author presumes that th...
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Line 7, column 183, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun amount seems to be countable; consider using: 'few amounts'.
Suggestion: few amounts
...ssible that the city in Amburg has very few amount of electricity which cannot affort for ...
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Line 7, column 286, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... lighting If this was the case then the authors assumption doesnt hold water and which ...
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Line 7, column 305, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...as the case then the authors assumption doesnt hold water and which significantly weak...
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Line 9, column 168, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'writers'' or 'writer's'?
Suggestion: writers'; writer's
...ific evidences I can not agree with the writers assertion
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Line 9, column 185, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...can not agree with the writers assertion
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, first, hence, however, if, may, second, so, then, third, well, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.5258426966 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.4196629213 48% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 14.8657303371 20% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.3162921348 97% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 33.0505617978 64% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 58.6224719101 75% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 12.9106741573 54% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1647.0 2235.4752809 74% => OK
No of words: 319.0 442.535393258 72% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.16300940439 5.05705443957 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.22617688928 4.55969084622 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79519077335 2.79657885939 100% => OK
Unique words: 142.0 215.323595506 66% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.445141065831 0.4932671777 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 530.1 704.065955056 75% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 6.24550561798 0% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.10617977528 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.38483146067 23% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 1.0 20.2370786517 5% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 319.0 23.0359550562 1385% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 0.0 60.3974514979 0% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 1647.0 118.986275619 1384% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 319.0 23.4991977007 1357% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 89.0 5.21951772744 1705% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 7.80617977528 154% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 0.0 10.2758426966 0% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 5.13820224719 19% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.83258426966 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.270490710006 0.243740707755 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.270490710006 0.0831039109588 325% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0758088955206 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.144581882874 0.150359130593 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.113181156262 0.0667264976115 170% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 162.4 14.1392134831 1149% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -260.77 48.8420337079 -534% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 0.0 7.92365168539 0% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 128.9 12.1743820225 1059% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 14.13 12.1639044944 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 22.43 8.38706741573 267% => Dale chall readability score is high.
difficult_words: 60.0 100.480337079 60% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 59.0 11.8971910112 496% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 129.6 11.2143820225 1156% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 59.0 11.7820224719 501% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.