People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling re

Essay topics:

People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

There are many people in the world with diverse races, cultures, countries, genders and so on. Thus, I partially agree with the contention, it is too hasty to judge that all people’s behavior is largely determined by the forces not of their making. We should scrutinize various cases to judge the statement.

In case of adolescents, it is possible that adults like parents and teachers attempt to control teenagers. This is because they are still immature and susceptible to detrimental factors around them, such as violence, salacious contents and crime. It is better for the adolescents to be suppress by the adults near them, since they are very instinctive and impulsive. Without anxiousness and constrains, those features would led them to cause problem or hazzardous situations. Therefore, it is likely the youngsters behavior is commonly decided by other factors, especially their parents.

In addition, not only teenagers’ action is afffected by factors from outside, adults’ behavior is also affected by the external forces. For example, Pol Pot, the leader of the Khmer Rouge which was government party of the Cambodia in 20century. Pol Pot had annihilated the quarter of the country’s total population in order to found great agrian communism country. The massacred people were artists, partisans, intelligence and so on that was considered as a individual that might hamper the found of agrian country. Moreover, people who against the government were mired in poverty and finally got killed. It was not possible for them to make their own decision even if they have different ideologies. Therefore, I partially agree with the author’s contetion.

However, on the otherhand, some people does not have to follow the external force in making their own decisions. For instance, Thomas Edison, a preeminent scientist in the world, decided to invent his own light bulb even there were external forces. Short lasting, unaffordable light bulb was prevalent that only moneyed people could relish the artificial light. It was more lucrative for the scientist to create expensive light bulb. However, Edison did not follow the contemporaries and trend, he made decision to invent long lasting affordable light bulb for the public. Due to his independent decision making, it allow more people to use light and allow him to became accomplished scientist.

In breif, it is likely that many people’s behavior is generally determined by external forces, however, an example of Thomas Edison has led me to question the author’s contention. Therfore, I partially agree with the author’s argument for the reasons I mentioned above.

Votes
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 426, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'lead'
Suggestion: lead
...ss and constrains, those features would led them to cause problem or hazzardous sit...
^^^
Line 3, column 506, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'youngsters'' or 'youngster's'?
Suggestion: youngsters'; youngster's
...situations. Therefore, it is likely the youngsters behavior is commonly decided by other f...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 474, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...igence and so on that was considered as a individual that might hamper the found ...
^
Line 7, column 618, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'allows'?
Suggestion: allows
... to his independent decision making, it allow more people to use light and allow him ...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, however, if, moreover, so, still, therefore, thus, for example, for instance, in addition, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.5258426966 118% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 12.4196629213 32% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 14.8657303371 74% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.3162921348 71% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 37.0 33.0505617978 112% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 58.6224719101 92% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 12.9106741573 101% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2260.0 2235.4752809 101% => OK
No of words: 418.0 442.535393258 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.40669856459 5.05705443957 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52162009685 4.55969084622 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.98932036806 2.79657885939 107% => OK
Unique words: 234.0 215.323595506 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.55980861244 0.4932671777 113% => OK
syllable_count: 696.6 704.065955056 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 6.24550561798 240% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.2370786517 114% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 23.0359550562 78% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 30.4476991225 60.3974514979 50% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 98.2608695652 118.986275619 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.1739130435 23.4991977007 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.91304347826 5.21951772744 94% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.2758426966 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.83258426966 186% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.172708399735 0.243740707755 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0489873121213 0.0831039109588 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0578156472945 0.0758088955206 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.103611725462 0.150359130593 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0564966666144 0.0667264976115 85% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 14.1392134831 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 44.75 48.8420337079 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.1743820225 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.8 12.1639044944 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.02 8.38706741573 108% => OK
difficult_words: 119.0 100.480337079 118% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 11.8971910112 67% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.2143820225 82% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.