That chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010.
The bar graph provides a breakdown of information in term of how many Britain who gave donations among people of different ages in 1990 and 2010. It is measured in percentage, and there are five different categories of ages.
Overall, what stands out the graph examines that a greater percentage of British people gave money to charity in 1990 than in 2010. However, across the two years, the pattern differs before and after the age of 50.
In 1990, 42% of the 36-50 age-group made charitable donations, and this figure is by far the highest on the chart. The 18-25s contributed the least at only 17%. By 2010, these figure had decreased significantly to 35% and 7% respectively. The level of donations from the 26-35 age-group also experienced a decline in 2010 from 31% to 24%.
While the donations by people up to the age of 50 fell over the time frame, and this proportion increased among the 51-65 age group from 35% to nearly 40%, which was the highest percentage for 2010. The figure for the over 65s followed a similar the percentage of elderly ages in 2010, at 35%, but it was still a little higher than the 1990 figure of 32%.
Comments
hi Testbig, I've re-written
hi Testbig,
I've re-written my essay, may you correct again?
Thank you
the pattern differ
the pattern differs
While donations up to the age of 50 fell over the timeframe,
While the donations by people up to the age of 50 fell over the time frame,
they rose among the 51-65 age group
Description: 'they' refers to what?
which was the highest percentage for 2010.
Description: 'which' refers to what?
The figure for the over 65s was lower than this
Description: 'this' refers to what?
Sentence: While donations up to the age of 50 fell over the timeframe, they rose among the 51-65 age group from 35 to nearly 40, which was the highest percentage for 2010.
Error: rose Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: timeframe Suggestion: time frame
flaws:
Be sensitive to use pronouns.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 10
No. of Words: 192 200
No. of Characters: 838 1000
No. of Different Words: 111 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.722 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.365 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.494 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 48 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 34 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 24 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 21 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.867 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.4 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.375 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.632 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.055 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4