In many countries, children are getting more overweight and less fit day by day. What is your opinion about this development?
Due to the large changes in our dietary lifestyle, juveniles has been facing issue with obesity and having less active lifetsyle. In my opinion, this is a negative development for our society and necessary remedial measures need to be taken urgently to prevent this from going further.
There are multifarious factors that contributes to the rise of obesity in children. First and foremost, parents are the main contributing factor for cause of child obesity. Nowadays, parents are busy working and developing their career pathway and they neglected the importance of balanced dietary intake for their children. Hence, they start to source for other convenient choices for their offspring such as fast food. For examples, parents would take away fast food like McDonalds and KFC as they are easily available in their neighbourhood and are ready to be given to their children. Secondly, children are exposed to many pleasures such as watching television and gaming on Ipad which narrowed their interest to exercise. These passive activities not only limits the body movement but also had a great impact on their children brain development.
Numerous remedial measures can be taken to oversee this matter. Both schools and parents plays a huge responsibility in development of their children interest. Schools can work with the parents to promote more physical curriculum activities and sports competition. For instance, sport events such as monthly basketball competition can be held to provoke the competition spirits and encourage students to participate. Besides that, parents can enroll their children into sports classes such as tennis to build their interest in physical activities. On the other hand, parents should also invest some quality time to encourage the juveniles to join outdoor activities. Children are great imitators and parents should present as a good role model to them.
In conclusion, the children development are highly dependent on the parents attitude and behaviour. It is important to ensure children are living a healthy and fit lifestyle as they will be our future leaders.
factors that contributes to the rise
factors that contribute to the rise
for cause of child obesity.
for the cause of child obesity.
These passive activities not only limits the body movement
These passive activities not only limit the body movement
Both schools and parents plays a huge responsibility
Both schools and parents play a huge responsibility
Sentence: These passive activities not only limits the body movement but also had a great impact on their children brain development.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to children and brain
Sentence: Both schools and parents plays a huge responsibility in development of their children interest.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to children and interest
Sentence: In conclusion, the children development are highly dependent on the parents attitude and behaviour.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to children and development
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to parents and attitude
Sentence: Due to the large changes in our dietary lifestyle, juveniles has been facing issue with obesity and having less active lifetsyle.
Error: lifetsyle Suggestion: lifestyle
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
'On the other hand' means 'However'. It doesn't mean 'On another hand'.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 331 350
No. of Characters: 1741 1500
No. of Different Words: 186 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.265 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.26 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.675 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 138 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 114 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.389 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.739 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.31 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.497 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.071 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5