Many countries have compulsory military service for men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men and possibly women. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, each country has its own defence regulation and some of them recruit all male citizens in military service. I partly agree with imposing compulsory military training for both men and women because everyone has access to free choice in taking part, even if the military experience is important in our society.
On one hand, joining the army has numerous benefits for each individual. The front walk and rhythmical execution of each soldier can improve self-discipline. Therefore, the person who activates in the military program will have a strict timetable and will be able to arrive earlier at notable meetings. For instance, my parents have done military training at university and what impresses me is that they are very punctual and fast in each movement. Furthermore, I recommend to lazy people to take up activities from military service because they will give up their bad habits in the near future. In addition, this fact can contribute to flourishing the self-defense techniques.
On the other hand, there are a lot of people forced to join the army and some of them dislike this status. In a democratic world, many people should not be constrained by government in terms of conscription and the lack of fighters will bring the peace between people. In the past, there were many conflicts and that is why, for example, many people had to support them. However, if there is not a huge population involved in the military sector, a country will not be prepared to face a sparked-off inevitable war.
In conclusion, military service is necessary in our world and it can be followed by both men and women.
because everyone has access to free choice
because everyone has the access to free choice
can contribute to flourishing the self-defense techniques.
can contribute to the flourish of self-defense techniques.
will bring the peace between people.
will bring the peace among people.
there were many conflicts and that is why, for example, many people had to support them.
Description: 'them' refers to what? Be sensitive to use pronouns.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
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try this pattern:
paragraph 1: introduction. Your ideas/opinions here.
paragraph 2: Admittedly, there are some advantages of side A. First, ... Second, ...
paragraph 3: However, still I support side B. reason 1 + why reason 1 + example + a small conclusion for this paragraph.
paragraph 4: reason 2 + why reason 2 + example + a small conclusion for this paragraph.
paragraph 5: conclusion.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 273 350
No. of Characters: 1317 1500
No. of Different Words: 161 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.065 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.824 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.702 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 95 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 77 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.276 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.692 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.333 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.552 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.081 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5