Many people say that we now live in ‘consumer societies’ where money and possessions are given too much importance. Others believe that consumer culture has played a vital role in improving our lives. Discuss both views and give your opinion. (-Syerapke-)

Essay topics: Many people say that we now live in ‘consumer societies’ where money and possessions are given too much importance. Others believe that consumer culture has played a vital role in improving our lives. Discuss both views and give your opinion. (-Syerapke-)

eddysuaib's picture

Consumerism grants people a taste of the good life. Obviously, it is also engaged with material possession, earning money and social status in the society. However, some people believe that consumer culture might bring vital role in order to improving lives. Although this is true, in my opinion good life could not potentially affect by consumer culture.

Firstly, Consumerism has several positives which are engaged with happy life. Moreover, happy life which is marked as acquire prestigious items or money may force people to work hard for increase their earnings. Thereby, creativity and innovation are flooding in their head as a motivational drive to earn more money. For example, the owner of online shop who really wants to buy iPhone uses several innovations in order to raise her sale. Secondly, the power of consumerism also affects trading among countries and then consecutively increases national domestic income. For example, demanding of Japan vehicles might rise export and also encourages the economics condition. Furthermore, those explanations above mentioned that consumerism is stance for live improving.

On the contrary, good living is not always linear with consumerism. Some people are willing to be selfish and unaware with surrounds. They may guide their behaviour to satisfy pleasure with unlimited. This act makes them as victim of their act; certain it is followed by unhappiness feeling. For instance, chronic shopaholics never feel satisfied of their buying although they already shop for doubled even tripled in a month. Moreover, highly concerned about self needed might causes people less care of the environment condition. They do not aware and think to spend their money for charity or donation for humanity probably.

Finally, the impact, good and bad, of consumer society might probably coin as human choice for their live improving. I believe that every person already take highly consideration before dive into consumer culture.

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Average: 6.5 (4 votes)
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Comments

might bring vital role in order to improving lives.
might bring vital role in order to improve lives.

in my opinion good life could not potentially affect by consumer culture.
in my opinion good life could not be potentially affected by consumer culture.

happy life which is marked as acquire prestigious items or money may force people to work hard for increase their earnings.
happy life which is marked as acquired prestigious items or money may force people to work hard for increasing their earnings.

the owner of online shop who really wants to buy iPhone uses several innovations in order to raise her sale.
the online shop owner who really wants to buy iPhone uses several innovations in order to raise her sale.

those explanations above mentioned that consumerism is stance for live improving.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

certain it is followed by unhappiness feeling.
certainly it is followed by unhappiness feeling.

although they already shop for doubled even tripled in a month.
although they already shopped doubled even tripled items in a month.

highly concerned about self needed might causes people less care of the environment condition.
highly concerned about self needs might cause people less care of the environment conditions.

I believe that every person already take highly consideration before dive into consumer culture.
I believe that every person already takes highly considerations before diving into consumer culture.

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.35 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 3.759 7.5

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 307 350
No. of Characters: 1623 1500
No. of Different Words: 193 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.186 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.287 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.574 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 124 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 95 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.35 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 3.759 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.268 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.451 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.054 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

(syerapke)
Thank you for nice correction Mr Testbig.
I make many mistakes for modal+V1

those explanations above mentioned that consumerism is stance for live improving.
Those explanations above as a good effect of consumerism for improve people live.
In this sentence, I want to mention that entire paragraph (body 1) is a description the benefit of consumerism. Would you kindly give me correction for the newest sentence ?

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