Many people spend a lot of money on clothes, haircuts, and beauty products to enhance their appearance. Some people think that it is a good way to spend money, while others think that there is a better way to spend it. Discuss both views and give your opi

Essay topics: Many people spend a lot of money on clothes, haircuts, and beauty products to enhance their appearance. Some people think that it is a good way to spend money, while others think that there is a better way to spend it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

vjtca28's picture

It is certainly true that most people prefer to do everything for being attraction from others. Expending a lot of money on beauty products, luxury cloths or cool hairstyles are only better appearance. However, some people argue that it is unnecessary for buying all these things and there are other ways for spending money on. Both of these views will be discussed in this essay.

On one hand, good looking and being attractive are very important in any social. People always concern about their beauty and how the way they look like because it can bring some social benefits to them. Being attractive makes a person to be more self-confident and brings many supportive beliefs from others. When other people feel impress to an individual, they will offer better opportunities or support several things. As a result, most people desire to expend a lot of money on improving their outlook with luxury cloths or expensive surgeries.

On the other hand, other expenditures such as saving money or investing money on education or stock- marketing can be more rewarding than paying for beauty. If a person saves all money that they spend on cosmetics or cloths, he/she will be able to purchase a car or spend on their higher education. People should concern about what is necessary for our lives and which one is wasting money. Appearance is just desirable outlook which is external image and will disappear in one day, so we should not pay attention on it and spend a large among of money on them.

In conclusion, even though, a person still needs fashionable dresses and nice hairstyles, it is still not a main purpose of human lives. However, investment such education or saving for retirement are more important for the future of humans. Personally, I do believe that investing money on essential things bring many benefits than generate on appearance.

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for being attraction from others.
for being attracted by others.

Expending a lot of money on beauty products, luxury cloths or cool hairstyles are only better appearance.
Description: what is the subject and verb for this sentence? can you re-write this sentence?

in any social.
in any society.

When other people feel impress to an individual,
When other people feel impressed to an individual,

investing money on essential things bring many benefits than generate on appearance.
Description: what is the subject and verb for this sentence? can you re-write this sentence?

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 314 350
No. of Characters: 1506 1500
No. of Different Words: 171 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.21 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.796 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.558 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 106 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 64 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.625 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.533 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.321 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.52 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.074 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

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