These days everyone seems to have more possessions(e.g. computers, cars, mobile phones, etc) Our strong desire to own these things is making us less aware of important personal qualities such as kindness and concern for others. Do you agree or disagree?

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These days everyone seems to have more possessions(e.g. computers, cars, mobile phones, etc) Our strong desire to own these things is making us less aware of important personal qualities such as kindness and concern for others. Do you agree or disagree?

In the contemporary society, a great deal of new kinds of technology which are possessed by people are created. These possessions, such as cars, mobile phones, computers have a big role in our universe by altering our life. The mentioned things assist us to do our work in a short time. However, some personal qualities, like kindness, care to our close people are lost day by day.

To begin with, strong desire related with purchasing modern possesions makes people work more hours with the aim of earning the value of the mentioned things. In this case, people have to deprive their family, particularly children to spend their spare time with them. Relationship between family members or friends get worse gradually. As a result, some families are not able to live with such a careless person or friendship is stopped by the opposite side.

What is more, in the result of stress that is got during work time, people become more exhausted, they forget to concern for others, even if they are family members. Additionally, people can not think anything else besides that possesion. For instance, if a person (may be a family member, like old father or mother) needs help for recovering illness, these people do not assist them. Particularly because, money is earned with the purpose of buying pricey thing.

In conclusion, it would be great if everyone understood that possessions are temporary in this world. Only our pleasant behaviour and personal qualities can be remembered by people and indicate us as kind ones.

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Sentence: To begin with, strong desire related with purchasing modern possesions makes people work more hours with the aim of earning the value of the mentioned things.
Error: possesions Suggestion: possessions

Sentence: Additionally, people can not think anything else besides that possesion.
Error: possesion Suggestion: possession

flaws:
No. of Words: 255 350

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 255 350
No. of Characters: 1225 1500
No. of Different Words: 156 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.996 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.804 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.533 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 92 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 56 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 40 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.214 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.05 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.317 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.539 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.094 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5