Many people spend a lot of money on clothes, haircuts, and beauty products to enhance their appearance. Some people think that it is a good way to spend money, while others think that there is a better way to spend it. Discuss both views and give your opi

Essay topics: Many people spend a lot of money on clothes, haircuts, and beauty products to enhance their appearance. Some people think that it is a good way to spend money, while others think that there is a better way to spend it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Hussein1987's picture

Recently, there are enormous number of people have large expenditures on fashionable things, so they buy a lot of personal stuff such, skin care, hair care, and body care items. Hence, they believe that this is the only way to take of their appearnance. In contrast, other people believe that there is a better way to spend their money on. Therefore, i will explain in details the two sides as following;

On the first hand, those people who believe that spending money on personal items, they see that it is the best way to spend their money on. In my opinion, it is not bad that much bad if you care about your appearance to keep looking good. I beileve that it is very important to have such a brilliant personality, but you need to make sure to be in the average level, so buying lots of personal items which you do not need to use, it will be useless, as a consequence, it will be a kind of wasting money. Notably, sometimes, we find body care products, it affects on our skins which it may cause an allergy disease. So when buy it, we do not pay attention to side effects, which it will happen to us. Undoubtedly, overusing these staff will affect on our heath, so it will not only be the matter of spending money, but it will go beyond that, as it may destroy our skin. For example, Hair care products, like Gel, there are a lot of people have been affected while using this material, which it contains on chemical ingredients, it may help to increase the infection of head's fur, as it may consolidate to hear fallen, whereas there are thousands of people who got bold due to using these chemical hair care products.

On the second, there are a lot of people who are wise in spending their money, they save money as much as they can for the future, they see buying leisure items for personsl care use is rediculous. To be more specific, they have priorities for spending, so they know where they spend their money and what to buy. For example, there is a lot people would like to spend money on useful things, so they preserve money to be spent on education, and other households staff, or any other important things.

In brief, being wise in spending is the best method to follow in your life. In addition, we have to have a full control of our money, or else, it will be counted as waste, so we have to organize everything according to its priorities.

Votes: 
Average: 6.7 (1 vote)
This essay topic by other users:
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2 years 4 months ago vjtca28 85 Read full essay
2 years 5 months ago khosro8 80 Read full essay
2 years 6 months ago Fadlanmuzakki 80 Read full essay sticky icon
2 years 8 months ago kkk92 95 Read full essay
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Extensive reading & listening: - reading & listening can help essay writing
Intensive IELTS reading & listening from Cambridge:

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 352, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...way to spend their money on. Therefore, i will explain in details the two sides a...
^
Line 4, column 19, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ides as following; On the first hand, those people who believe that spending m...
^^
Line 4, column 743, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'effect'?
Suggestion: effect
...Undoubtedly, overusing these staff will affect on our heath, so it will not only be the m...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 931, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...care products, like Gel, there are a lot of people have been affected while using...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, hence, if, look, may, second, so, therefore, whereas, while, for example, in addition, in brief, in contrast, kind of, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 13.1623246493 167% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 7.85571142285 204% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 7.0 10.4138276553 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 7.30460921844 219% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 61.0 24.0651302605 253% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 56.0 41.998997996 133% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.3376753507 84% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1937.0 1615.20841683 120% => OK
No of words: 437.0 315.596192385 138% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.43249427918 5.12529762239 86% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57214883401 4.20363070211 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42059838367 2.80592935109 86% => OK
Unique words: 205.0 176.041082164 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.469107551487 0.561755894193 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 611.1 506.74238477 121% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.60771543086 87% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 5.43587174349 313% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Interrogative: 0.0 0.384769539078 0% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 0.809619238477 741% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.76152304609 168% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 16.0721442886 93% => OK
Sentence length: 29.0 20.2975951904 143% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 75.1601549286 49.4020404114 152% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.133333333 106.682146367 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.1333333333 20.7667163134 140% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.6 7.06120827912 136% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.01903807615 80% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.67935871743 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.249326411367 0.244688304435 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.109968203101 0.084324248473 130% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.105442664805 0.0667982634062 158% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.167443542235 0.151304729494 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0468770657692 0.056905535591 82% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 13.0946893788 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.96 50.2224549098 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.2 11.3001002004 108% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.01 12.4159519038 73% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.6 8.58950901804 88% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 78.4519038076 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 9.78957915832 133% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 10.1190380762 134% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.7795591182 130% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 67.4157303371 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

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