Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to be meant for adults only Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children What are its causes and what solutions can be offered

Essay topics:

Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to be meant for adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes and what solutions can be offered?

We thought first, that ailment could be accompanied by elderly ages. But nowadays, we can see it from different perspective. Immatures have a chance to have a certain type of diseases such as obesity. As it is the principal issue that it could happen to children. So, i will exaplain in details effects and stick here some suggestion in how to tackle this problem. 
On the one hand, this phenomenon started from technology point. Whereas, we believe that technologies have become an essential part in our life, as it has brought a number of benefits to us, but it also created some passive prospects. Hence, it has influnced on us by causing obesity not only to adults but to children as well. When children overuse these means, it will affect on them respectively. For example, Computer games or other methods like tablet, so that they can download games on it, and play with it. While they are playing many hours with it, they will become obese. So the less movement during day due to games playing. The more will get a kind of obesity. So getting one’s fat is one of the most dangerous diseases ever. There a report came out from medical journsl from USA in 2006 showed, when children spend numeric hours in playing games, they will have more opportunity to get fat, which it will affect on their health in the future. However, obesity might lead to digestive stomach problems, and heart attack even if they are in early ages. For this reason, when they became adults, they will encounter like these diseases. 
On the second hand, unless schedules have been organised by parents, they would get chances for getting more fat. As it should be there a kind of surveillance done by their familly regularly. There was a study analysis issued from health commuinty for controlling obesity from sweden showed. The pecentage of obesity to children has been dropped to 50% in 2008 compared to 2000-2006. And that’s virtues return to their  parents with benefits. Lastly, this strict control is useful way to derease from the proportion of one’s gets fat. Besides, teaching immature about how to array their hours during the day. In addition, making exercises will help them to avoid it. So they can be more healthy, and full of energy alike. If they do exercises. 
In brief, technology and computer are not that much bad, if they use smartly. Otherwise, it can develop their mental stages in process of growing. In addition, it can eradicate them from ignorance to become educated a well as brain can work properly due to the huge number if strategic games whichbit is available in computer networks. 

Votes
Average: 7.8 (2 votes)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 202, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...rtain type of diseases such as obesity. As it is the principal issue that it could...
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Line 2, column 269, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...e that it could happen to children. So, i will exaplain in details effects and st...
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Line 2, column 365, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...uggestion in how to tackle this problem.  On the one hand, this phenomenon started...
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Line 3, column 372, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'effect'?
Suggestion: effect
...n children overuse these means, it will affect on them respectively. For example, Compute...
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Line 3, column 924, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'effect'?
Suggestion: effect
...e opportunity to get fat, which it will affect on their health in the future. However, ob...
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Line 3, column 1152, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...they will encounter like these diseases. 
On the second hand, unless schedules hav...
^^
Line 3, column 1268, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...would get chances for getting more fat. As it should be there a kind of surveillan...
^^
Line 3, column 1577, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... And that's virtues return to their  parents with benefits. Lastly, this stri...
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Line 3, column 1907, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...l of energy alike. If they do exercises.  In brief, technology and computer are no...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, hence, however, if, lastly, second, so, well, whereas, while, for example, in addition, in brief, kind of, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 13.1623246493 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 7.85571142285 242% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 10.0 10.4138276553 96% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 7.30460921844 137% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 24.0651302605 220% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 67.0 41.998997996 160% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.3376753507 96% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2176.0 1615.20841683 135% => OK
No of words: 448.0 315.596192385 142% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.85714285714 5.12529762239 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60065326758 4.20363070211 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5847520346 2.80592935109 92% => OK
Unique words: 247.0 176.041082164 140% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.551339285714 0.561755894193 98% => OK
syllable_count: 675.0 506.74238477 133% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 5.43587174349 276% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Interrogative: 3.0 0.384769539078 780% => Less interrogative sentences wanted.
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 11.0 2.10420841683 523% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 6.0 0.809619238477 741% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 16.0721442886 168% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.2975951904 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 48.3386828315 49.4020404114 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 80.5925925926 106.682146367 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.5925925926 20.7667163134 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.22222222222 7.06120827912 74% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 4.38176352705 68% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 9.0 5.01903807615 179% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 8.67935871743 196% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 3.4128256513 234% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.168047386105 0.244688304435 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0475204004455 0.084324248473 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0397359008776 0.0667982634062 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.105275268946 0.151304729494 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0392502446172 0.056905535591 69% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.8 13.0946893788 75% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 50.2224549098 127% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 11.3001002004 74% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.61 12.4159519038 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.34 8.58950901804 97% => OK
difficult_words: 111.0 78.4519038076 141% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 9.78957915832 87% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.1190380762 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Minimum four paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.