Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Every job has its difficulties. For entertainers and athletes, this is the loss of one of their main human rights: privacy. When it comes to whether this deprivation is righteous or not, there are different ideas. While some people believe that the loss of privacy is an outcome of their selected job, others hold the very notion that privacy is a human right, and reputation couldn't be a pretext to denying this human right. From my vantage point, they deserve to have more privacy than they do now, and these are my justifications.
First of all, always being in front of others' sight and cameras put an unendurable pressure on them, which will harm their mental health. To put it in a vivid picture, mental health plays a pivotal role in every aspect of humans' lives, relations, work, and even physical health. If someone is famous, they have to think about how to behave before taking every action; As they know, their every behavior will be behold and be judged consequently, from walking down to the street to choosing what clothes to wear can become an annoying and challenging decision. This level of chronic anxiety will finally disturb the entertainer and athletes' mental health. And it is not fair to sacrifice someone's health for our curiosity who already try to make memorable moments for us. I think we, all, are responsible to every person, especially for our athletes.
The second reason is that, look for famous people has its tall of society as well. To be clear, entertainers and athletes are ordinary people with their mistakes and faults, but children and teenagers are not mature enough to realize this very fact; they follow their favorite athlete and entertainer and imitate everything they do, which is harmful and risky. For example, a famous actor in our country attempt suicide, the news announced, and everyone was in shock, but what is also breaking is that the rate of suicide beyond his fans greatly increased j a few days later. Such a lack of privacy not only harm the athletes but also damage their followers in many ways, and this is not just for immature persons; On another hand, there are so many adults that squander their time and energy by gossiping and looking after their fans and, as a result of this, they experience a considerable decrease in their productivity. Therefore, if we deprive someone of their rights, here it is privacy, not only would they curb their everyday life conditions, but also, it would put ourselves in danger.
By considering all the above-mentioned justifications, I think we should give back their privacy right and never make an excuse from their reputation. Because this has a lot of harmful consequences for them, who try to make our life easier. They make us laugh, and it is unfair to make them cry. And besides, we have to remember, such a lack of privacy has its adverse influence on their innocent and immature adherent, maybe a teenage sister or brother, a friend, a stranger, it does not matter, which is important is that we all are responsible for making a healthy society.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 377, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
...rivacy is a human right, and reputation couldnt be a pretext to denying this human righ...
Line 2, column 15, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER
Message: The adverb 'always' is usually put after the verb 'being'.
Suggestion: being always
...e are my justifications. First of all, always being in front of others sight and cameras pu...
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, consequently, finally, first, if, look, may, second, so, therefore, well, while, for example, i think, as a result, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 15.1003584229 185% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 30.0 13.8261648746 217% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 69.0 43.0788530466 160% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 56.0 52.1666666667 107% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2534.0 1977.66487455 128% => OK
No of words: 528.0 407.700716846 130% => OK
Chars per words: 4.79924242424 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.79356345386 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60907595111 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 284.0 212.727598566 134% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.537878787879 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 800.1 618.680645161 129% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 11.0 1.86738351254 589% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 85.8711825935 48.9658058833 175% => OK
Chars per sentence: 126.7 100.406767564 126% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.4 20.6045352989 128% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.4 5.45110844103 136% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 3.85842293907 337% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.15149866051 0.236089414692 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0462954839963 0.076458572812 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0674452848755 0.0737576698707 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0953372782734 0.150856017488 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0444453632021 0.0645574589148 69% => OK
automated_readability_index: 14.4 11.7677419355 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.86 10.9000537634 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.45 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 118.0 86.8835125448 136% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.