Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
The social media is essential to our progress and well-being in the contemporary era. Technology is a service that is especially vital to the prosperity of athletes and famous entertainers. Therefore, I disagree that famous people deserve to have more privacy than they have now because of the widespread of the social media and the high competition between famous people today.
First, the social media is the single greatest determinants of the famous person’s success. In fact, the people today depend on the social media to encourage their models. Additionally, they prefer to know everything about the famous entertainers. For instance, the famous people can attract many people to support them by talking about their daily life in the social media like facebook and snapchat. In contrast, the famous will loss his celebrity if he avoids talking about his private life. Thus, the famous person can increase his followers by putting many details in his social media accounts like posting his latest plan to keep his followers updated.
Another reason why I advocate that entertainments and famous people must have limited privacy is the high competition between them. So, each story that the famous person talks about his intention or his past will act as an advertisement and enable them to overcome any rumor. Consequently, that increase his celebrity and make the people eager to check his account. On the other hand, avoiding the public has bad impacts on his fame and gives the chance for competitors to take his place by attracting his lovers and talking about him in a bad way without waring from declaring untrusted news regaring him to the public.
To sum up, the famous must show their daily life to the public to be closer to their followers. Hopefully, more entremets and athletes will recognize that.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 536, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a bad way" with adverb for "bad"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...acting his lovers and talking about him in a bad way without waring from declaring untrusted...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, first, if, so, therefore, thus, well, for instance, in contrast, in fact, talking about, to sum up, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 15.1003584229 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 34.0 43.0788530466 79% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 52.1666666667 84% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1533.0 1977.66487455 78% => OK
No of words: 301.0 407.700716846 74% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.09302325581 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.16525528304 4.48103885553 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68213533542 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 158.0 212.727598566 74% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.524916943522 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 479.7 618.680645161 78% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 9.59856630824 31% => OK
Article: 7.0 3.08781362007 227% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 0.0 3.51792114695 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.3675380467 48.9658058833 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.2 100.406767564 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0666666667 20.6045352989 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.73333333333 5.45110844103 160% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.158043691599 0.236089414692 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0616151811529 0.076458572812 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.081579090707 0.0737576698707 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.114281518892 0.150856017488 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0820531141826 0.0645574589148 127% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 11.7677419355 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 58.1214874552 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.24 10.9000537634 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.41 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 86.8835125448 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.