Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It is important to know about events happening around the world, even if it is unlikely that they will affect your daily life.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
With the development of technology, devices such as television and computers have been invented that allows us to get access to events occurring outside of our country. While some might say that it is unimportant to be acknowledged in events that are irrelevant to our lives, I believe that it is essential to know what the world is going through. The reasons to why I believe in such way will be elaborated in more detail below.
First of all, it is irrational to gaurantee that an event that occurred in another country would not happen in our country. Most countries go through a similar path of developing and as the famous idiom says, history repeats itself. I would like to mention South Korea and Japan as an example. As time passed in Japan, large number of baby boomers, which takes up a majority of the Japan's population, went through retirement and was responsible for the high unemployment rate. They went through an economic crisis due to half of the population being idle. It took Japan multiple years to resolve this problem, and they eventually generated policies that enabled seniors to continue working and participating in the economic cycle. Similarly, South Korea is going through the same process and is at the verge of losing most of the baby boomers through retirement. However, because South Koreans kept well acknowledged with all the events that were happening in Japan, the government created policies prior to the actual occurrence. Thanks to this, many retired baby boomers are able to get themselves employed and this prevented South Korea from facing economic crisis.
Furthermore, societies nowadays are complex and are entangled with each other, which indicates that an event that seemed irrelevant to our country may affect us in an unprecedented way. Unlike in the past, where countries mostly did not need other countries to survive, countries today possess an intricate relationship with multiple countries and such balance is required in order to inhibit the world from deteriorating. Especially, in environmental factors, it is important for all countries to participate in preventing the ecosystem because one certain event in an irrelevant country may affect people's lives in all around the world. If one country accidentally sinks a ship, the oil that was contained in the ship would leak, causing water contamination and majority of the marine animals to detriorate. This would of course affect other countries in the sense of water usage and fish consumption. As such, it is mandatory to know what is happening in other countries, in order to maintain an intricate balance between the countries for the world to maintain a habitable place.
To sum up, a certain event that happened in a country that seemed irrelevant may happen to our country and the world nowadays is maintained through balanced relationships between the countries. Due to such reasons, it is crucial to be acknowledged in the events that are happening around the world, even though it may not affect our daily life.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 162, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an unprecedented way" with adverb for "unprecedented"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...irrelevant to our country may affect us in an unprecedented way. Unlike in the past, where countries mo...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, furthermore, however, if, may, similarly, so, well, while, of course, such as, first of all, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 15.1003584229 166% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 43.0788530466 95% => OK
Preposition: 83.0 52.1666666667 159% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2534.0 1977.66487455 128% => OK
No of words: 500.0 407.700716846 123% => OK
Chars per words: 5.068 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72870804502 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8200822683 2.67179642975 106% => OK
Unique words: 245.0 212.727598566 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.49 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 791.1 618.680645161 128% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 46.5009677319 48.9658058833 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 126.7 100.406767564 126% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.0 20.6045352989 121% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.45 5.45110844103 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 11.8709677419 42% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.85842293907 233% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.137723446777 0.236089414692 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0463858313852 0.076458572812 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0488913883938 0.0737576698707 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.10097047181 0.150856017488 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0496006962233 0.0645574589148 77% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.9 11.7677419355 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 58.1214874552 79% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.42 10.9000537634 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.82 8.01818996416 110% => OK
difficult_words: 125.0 86.8835125448 144% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.247311828 146% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.