Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.

In the modern era, young people don’t enter society as soon as the previous decades and this is regarded as a key factor contributing to the change in their personality and responsibilities. One of the heated debates in this realm is associated with the question of whether teenagers should be forced to acquire part-time jobs or not. Many people adhere to the view that they should play games, have fun, and enjoy their lives in this period, while others suppose this time is a proper moment for them to learn skills making them able to handle their duties in the future. I firmly believe young adults should take professions. In what follows, I will cogently pinpoint my most conspicuous reasons to justify my point of view.

The first exquisite point to be mentioned is that adolescents learn different social behaviors through this approach. Dealing with various types of people or handling ubiquitous tasks, like bank procedures, are some skills that they don’t learn in the school's syllabus. However, they are required eventually when we step into the community and we are expected to know them as grown-ups. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. About 10 years ago, when I was thirteen, my mother sent me to work alongside my cousin as his selling assistant in a shoe store. In the evenings, I aided him in trading the commodities by making conversation with customers and gain their interest in our products. Also, In the mornings, I helped him with doing his bank-associated tasks like opening accounts and withdrawing money. Thus, when I became an adult, I had no problems doing my own business, while most of my friends did not and they always demanded my assistance.

Another equally significant point to be mentioned is that young people learn earning money is a cumbersome process and they realize its worth. Nowadays, technology has created a variety of different tempting objects that are every child’s dream. Although their prices are getting higher and higher, people’s desire for obtaining them is becoming more exessive as well. These demands force a lot of burden on parents. On the one hand, if they don’t buy them for their beloved kids, they will end up fighting with each other. One the other hand, there are other facets of life that the money should be spent on like procuring food and paying bills. to put in in a more vivid picture, one of my friends, Ali, is the only child and he has been provided with everything he has needed. Last year, he wanted to buy a PlayStation device and asked his parents to buy it for him. They didn’t accept his plea so he got mad and after a huge argument, decided to look for a job and purchase one for himself. It took him six months of unwieldy work to accumulate his money to get what he wanted. As a result, he found out that earning money was hard and tried to lower his expectations.

In brief, contemplating all the aforementioned reasons, one soon realizes that having young people to participate in part-time occupations is beneficial. Because this way, they learn crucial social manners that help them in their future, and also they understand the genuine significance of wealth and how hard it is to collect it.

Votes
Average: 9 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 256, Rule ID: WHETHER[3]
Message: Wordiness: Shorten this phrase to the shortest possible suggestion.
Suggestion: whether; the question whether
...ebates in this realm is associated with the question of whether teenagers should be forced to acquire p...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 258, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'schools'' or 'school's'?
Suggestion: schools'; school's
...kills that they don't learn in the schools syllabus. However, they are required ev...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 78, Rule ID: AFFORD_VBG[1]
Message: This verb is used with infinitive: 'to earn'.
Suggestion: to earn
...be mentioned is that young people learn earning money is a cumbersome process and they ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 663, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: To
...n like procuring food and paying bills. to put in in a more vivid picture, one of ...
^^
Line 5, column 670, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: in
...procuring food and paying bills. to put in in a more vivid picture, one of my friends...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, look, so, thus, well, while, in brief, as a result

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 15.1003584229 159% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 82.0 43.0788530466 190% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 68.0 52.1666666667 130% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2693.0 1977.66487455 136% => OK
No of words: 554.0 407.700716846 136% => OK
Chars per words: 4.86101083032 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.85151570047 4.48103885553 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72817499156 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 312.0 212.727598566 147% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.563176895307 0.524837075471 107% => OK
syllable_count: 821.7 618.680645161 133% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.3452236031 48.9658058833 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.576923077 100.406767564 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.3076923077 20.6045352989 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.11538461538 5.45110844103 57% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.184297183368 0.236089414692 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0465398954908 0.076458572812 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0449031078847 0.0737576698707 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.116744400442 0.150856017488 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0305099442659 0.0645574589148 47% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 11.7677419355 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 58.1214874552 101% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.91 10.9000537634 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.92 8.01818996416 111% => OK
difficult_words: 149.0 86.8835125448 171% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 10.002688172 180% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.