Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.
There is no shortage of opinion on whether suggestions of celebrities is more important for young generation than older people, or vice versa. In my opinion, their opinions are relatively significant for the people who are younger than them. I feel this way for two main reasons, and I will develop these ideas in the subsequent paragraphs.
Firstly, in human's history, the aged have been teaching the adolescences because juveniles who are lacking in experience should get advice from seasoned individuals. Therefore, getting advice and being influenced with it is not necessary for the people of advanced age because they tend to have been already familiar with the specific opinion. By contrast, the particular opinion may be completely inspiring and brand-new for people who are young and not experienced. To illustrate this, I would like to share my experience of watching speech of Mongolian president with my parents. In this speech, the president announced philosophical statement about life. Once I and my father listen to this, I was comprehensively inspired but my father was conversant about the topic. Drawing from my own experience, individuals are influenced by the people who are older than themselves irrespective of whether they are celebrity.
Secondly, Anyone will not be influenced by external impact such as opinion of others if they do not have any internal motive .Young people tend to be inspired to study and explore novel things for their welfare while the elderly are satisfied with the matter they know, and do not want to learn anymore. The opinion of successful people are mostly associated with success, learning and experience, all of which is crucial for people of young age. Therefore, individuals including me who are only meeting the world need these valuable advice about instrumental aspects of life. For instance, when I attend English course with my brother who is forty years old, the teacher told us the proverb of certain celebrity that heavily influence my motive. However, my brother's response was that the proverb was unconvincing because he has not internal motivation. Hence, the same suggestions affected as differently respective of our divergent attitude. In consequence, others opinion would not affect people who have not any self motivation but young people with tremendous dream and are endeavoring to accomplish it.
To sum up, the advice of famous sportsmen and performers likely have more tremendous impact on younger people than people who were born in a earlier time. This is because the elderly are veteran and more well-informed than celebrities advising them. Moreover, young people are readily motivated by the suggestions of other people since they tend to have attitude to explore and practice fascinating and novel things.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 125, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... if they do not have any internal motive .Young people tend to be inspired to stud...
^^
Line 5, column 127, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Young
...f they do not have any internal motive .Young people tend to be inspired to study and...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 140, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ger people than people who were born in a earlier time. This is because the elder...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, hence, however, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, well, while, for instance, i feel, such as, in my opinion, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 15.1003584229 199% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 43.0788530466 93% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2354.0 1977.66487455 119% => OK
No of words: 446.0 407.700716846 109% => OK
Chars per words: 5.27802690583 4.8611393121 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5955099915 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.86147851316 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 234.0 212.727598566 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.52466367713 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 755.1 618.680645161 122% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 7.0 3.08781362007 227% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.0722373101 48.9658058833 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.7 100.406767564 117% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.3 20.6045352989 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.85 5.45110844103 144% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.297944370178 0.236089414692 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0931074755702 0.076458572812 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.079060152891 0.0737576698707 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.204016341029 0.150856017488 135% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0418355537481 0.0645574589148 65% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 11.7677419355 124% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 58.1214874552 70% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 10.1575268817 129% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.64 10.9000537634 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.87 8.01818996416 111% => OK
difficult_words: 117.0 86.8835125448 135% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 83.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.