Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In this progressive and sophisticated world, being a successful person is very difficult. In other hand, successful people have various charactheristic that are very crucial to improve the quality of their life. When it comes to this point, people have some debates as to whether successful person try new things and take risks or they only do what they know how to do. Truly, I agree with the first group and in what follows, two reasons will be discussed to shed light upon this idea.
The first reason coming to my mind to substantiate my stand point is that people who are successful have some especial atributes. To be more specific, bravery comming as a consequent of success. All of the time,however, They are willing to know new things to discover the secrets of this world about different topics like engineering, Medicine and business. Moreover, they are very inteligent and this tarit helps them to know about various skills. For instanse, I am a doctor of Veterinary Medicine and I work in a fish and shrimp export company. My employer is very successful in his work and covers all asia markets. He is very brave and has no fear to try new business also He is very astute and knws essential information about demand and suply.
Another noteworthy point corroborating my stance is that successful people are in the firm position and be in the same situation makes them bored. They tend to try new things to make their life different. For example, Professor Hesabi is one of the most popular scientists in Iran and has an important role in Iranian sciense burgeon. When I finished my medicine course, I found that medicine has a repetetive principals and it was boring for me. If I be in medicine as a doctor, I will be depressed, Hesaby said. Therefore , He went to a outomobile company and worked for them. He tried various courses and skils in his life.
To sum up besed on all argumentation stated above, I fell sucsessful people prefer to try new things because they are very inteligent and they need variety of skils to be hapy in their life.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 267, Rule ID: WHETHER[6]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to"?
Suggestion: whether
...to this point, people have some debates as to whether successful person try new things and ta...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 196, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: All the
...ery comming as a consequent of success. All of the time,however, They are willing to know ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 211, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , however
...a consequent of success. All of the time,however, They are willing to know new things to...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 524, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ill be depressed, Hesaby said. Therefore , He went to a outomobile company and wor...
^^
Line 9, column 538, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ed, Hesaby said. Therefore , He went to a outomobile company and worked for them....
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, moreover, so, therefore, as to, for example, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 15.1003584229 139% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 13.8261648746 130% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 44.0 43.0788530466 102% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 52.1666666667 88% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1711.0 1977.66487455 87% => OK
No of words: 362.0 407.700716846 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.72651933702 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.36191444098 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7034297394 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 212.727598566 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.53591160221 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 546.3 618.680645161 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.1979845714 48.9658058833 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.0526315789 100.406767564 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.0526315789 20.6045352989 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.47368421053 5.45110844103 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.21846223205 0.236089414692 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0632540650332 0.076458572812 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.094276232951 0.0737576698707 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.143381500706 0.150856017488 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0959958719419 0.0645574589148 149% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.4 11.7677419355 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.15 10.9000537634 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.16 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 86.8835125448 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.