Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
People who benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign countries.
Nowadays, no one can deny the importance of traveling. Some people may hold the opinion that it is better for people to travel in own country. But others have a negative attitude. As far as I am concerned, obviously, if people have a trip to another country, they learn many new things, have wider culture and more relationship and communication. My reasons and samples listed below will demonstrate my point according to the most common viewpoints.
First let us look at what a person can gain by a journy to foreign country. Learning new things about other countries such as their foods, their historical buildings and their natures is essential for everyone because by getting more and more information, people will have wider mind. By way of illustration, when I traveled to Italy last year, I learn many new culinaries including pitazas and pastas.
There is also a more subtle point we must consider. Each country has special culture and if people see other cultures, they can improve own culture and nothing is important for one country as culture is. Taking asian countries for example, there are many countries in south asia that had lower culture in the past but today thanks to traveling to developed country they have invaluable culture among their own people.
Finally, I cannot oversee the fact that going to different country means more relationships and better commuinication. To shed more light on the issue, according to the result of the study done in Tehran University, people who travel to another country communicate with other people easier, and all of them thanks to having more realtionship are more able to get a good position in their jobs, and also, they have happeir life than others who travel only in thier own country. In other hand, peolpe who travel only in their own country have less chance in career and have less ability in social activity than other groups.
Drawing upon the reasons, although there are always some exceptions which are excluded from the general rule, I do agree that the benefits of traveling abroad is much better because they bring wider culture for people and also, they can learn more and experience more relationship.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
and all of them thanks to having more realtionship are more able to get a good position in their jobs,
and all of them think that having more relationships is able to get a good position in their jobs,
the benefits of traveling abroad is much better
the benefits of traveling abroad are much better
Sentence: First let us look at what a person can gain by a journy to foreign country.
Error: journy Suggestion: journey
Sentence: By way of illustration, when I traveled to Italy last year, I learn many new culinaries including pitazas and pastas.
Error: culinaries Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Finally, I cannot oversee the fact that going to different country means more relationships and better commuinication.
Error: commuinication Suggestion: communication
Sentence: To shed more light on the issue, according to the result of the study done in Tehran University, people who travel to another country communicate with other people easier, and all of them thanks to having more realtionship are more able to get a good position in their jobs, and also, they have happeir life than others who travel only in thier own country.
Error: realtionship Suggestion: relationship
Error: thier Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: happeir Suggestion: happier
Sentence: In other hand, peolpe who travel only in their own country have less chance in career and have less ability in social activity than other groups.
Error: peolpe Suggestion: people
flaws:
The subjects for most of sentences are 'people' or 'they'
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 368 350
No. of Characters: 1772 1500
No. of Different Words: 198 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.38 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.815 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.47 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 127 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 47 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.533 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.778 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.733 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.346 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.577 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'finally', 'first', 'if', 'look', 'may', 'so', 'for example', 'such as']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.237037037037 0.229887763892 103% => OK
Verbs: 0.158024691358 0.158761421928 100% => OK
Adjectives: 0.125925925926 0.0866891130778 145% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0444444444444 0.046263068375 96% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0567901234568 0.0685040099705 83% => OK
Prepositions: 0.108641975309 0.118717715034 92% => OK
Participles: 0.0444444444444 0.0351676179071 126% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.58087520508 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0320987654321 0.0309702414327 104% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00188951952338 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0592592592593 0.0887237588012 67% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0222222222222 0.0209618222197 106% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0172839506173 0.0139019557991 124% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2187.0 2387.08602151 92% => OK
No of words: 368.0 408.028673835 90% => OK
Chars per words: 5.94293478261 5.86048508987 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.37987740619 4.48200974243 98% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.350543478261 0.338922669872 103% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.247282608696 0.251872472559 98% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.146739130435 0.174417080927 84% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.103260869565 0.112833075102 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58087520508 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 199.0 212.727598566 94% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.540760869565 0.524397521467 103% => OK
Word variations: 59.682616103 59.2087087015 101% => OK
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6684587814 73% => OK
Sentence length: 24.5333333333 20.5533526081 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 86.8412088559 48.84282405 178% => OK
Chars per sentence: 145.8 120.699889404 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.5333333333 20.5533526081 119% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.666666666667 0.644075263715 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.5376344086 110% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.54480286738 0% => OK
Readability: 49.2615942029 45.7405998639 108% => OK
Elegance: 1.50476190476 1.45489161554 103% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.327342700738 0.300154397459 109% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0850886168614 0.103427244359 82% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0914817130104 0.0752933317313 122% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.529612728058 0.497263757937 107% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.215611363756 0.151897553556 142% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.111715395365 0.114077575197 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0778699237145 0.0781384742642 100% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.234109108695 0.336927656856 69% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0418189179163 0.067059652881 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.190443314748 0.210909579961 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0517771260825 0.0618886996521 84% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8870967742 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.86379928315 52% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.91756272401 102% => OK
Positive topic words: 7.0 8.42114695341 83% => OK
Negative topic words: 1.0 2.4623655914 41% => OK
Neutral topic words: 4.0 2.75985663082 145% => OK
Total topic words: 12.0 13.6433691756 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.