Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Younger school student children (age five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math science, history, and language.

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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Younger school student children (age five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math science, history, and language.

As some people may hold the view that younger students should put their all concentrations on the theoretical lessons such as math and science; however, some others may take an opposite viewpoint and believe that they should be required to study art and music besides the scientific lessons. I personally agree with the second belief. In the following paragraph, I will delve into the most outstanding reasons which persuade me to put forward this perspective.

The first exquisite reason which advocates my idea is that the art and music help them to become creative. It is lucidly obvious that any fields of art causes to the creativity. Since, it leads to put an imagination in the presentation of art. This indication helps the students to become creative. The creativity gained from the art can be considered as wealth of which they can take the advantages and merits in other fields too. For instance, a creative mind is so quick in the mathematics; science, it can find various formulas as a solution for the problem.

Next, the students can find a field that they are talented. There is no any cogent rule that all students should continue their education on the scientific field. Meanwhile, there can be a portion of the students who have the special talents in the art. By attending this kind of activities, they will have an opportunity to find an occupation based upon their desires and capabilities. A vivid example can be given to shed light on the subject is my sister's example. My sister is really gifted in the playing piano; however, my family was totally unaware of this gift and talent till she was ten years old. As her Schedule of school prepare a specific program for the music schooling. My parent got informed about her abilities, and now she is one of the best pianists in our city.

The last reason which confirms the accuracy of my viewpoint is the chance of social interaction. As this kind of the classes are hold in the separate environment, in where different students from various classes take participate, a student has this chance to interact with different students. This interaction paves the path to strengthen his/her social communication networks; besides, makes her/him extroverted. According to the noteworthy intelligible research conducted in my country, approximately six nine percent of the students of Tehran who gain the art schooling become more sociable person.

To wrap it up, all aforementioned reasons and examples lead to the conclusion that the extra classes such as the art and music have a vital role in the students' learning processes. They help the student to be more creative, informed about their talents, and promote their social interactions.

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Average: 7 (2 votes)
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Sentence: As some people may hold the view that younger students should put their all concentrations on the theoretical lessons such as math and science; however, some others may take an opposite viewpoint and believe that they should be required to study art and music besides the scientific lessons.
Description: A determiner, possessive is not usually followed by a determiner/pronoun, pre-quantifier
Suggestion: Refer to their and all

in where different students from various classes
in which different students from various classes
where different students from various classes

become more sociable person.
become more sociable.

Sentence: As her Schedule of school prepare a specific program for the music schooling.
Description: The fragment school prepare a is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace prepare with verb, past tense

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 455 350
No. of Characters: 2204 1500
No. of Different Words: 235 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.619 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.844 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.709 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 157 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 124 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 85 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.783 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.846 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.391 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.277 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.477 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.093 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5