In general, people are living longer now. Which of the following do you think accounts for this phenomenon?
Technological improvements
Changes to education systems
Improvements to our diets
Use specific details and examples in your answer. You may choose more than one cause.
The extension of life is a very challenging problem. There are many approaches that have contributed to it. Personally, I believe that advancements in technology make huge progress in human longevity.
First of all, people managed to decode human DNA, making a big impact on health science. By reading our genomes scientists can easily understand what diseases are possible for every person. this means that with the correct guidance the possible patient can prevent the development of this illness. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. When I was born, I made a DNA test which predicted that I will have a serious back problem in 10 years. However, as my parents learned about this, they got advice from doctors about how I could prevent the development of this issue. So, I started to visit regularly a physiotherapist who was an expert in dealing with these problems. The result is that I have never developed this issue. If technology has not made these advancements, maybe today I would be paralyzed in my bed.
Secondly, many labs today with the help of technology can produce a mass amount of pharmacies and make them available around the world. Third world countries used to have a very low score in longevity because many people died young from malaria or other dangerous diseases. However, as technology makes them available also there, it has contributed to reductions in these deadly illnesses. For instance, about 10 years ago, the death rate in Kenya under 35 years was 60%. today, because people there have better access to medication care, this rate has dropped to 20%. Another example is the virus of HIV. Many people in Africa died from AIDS. The governments there could not prevent the spreading of the virus as there were not enough condoms. So, only rich people could afford their prices. Nowadays, factories can produce huge amounts of them and supply all the people that need them.
In conclusion, I am of the opinion that the big steps that were made in the technology in the last years have contributed the most to live extension. This is because with the use of current technology doctors can predict future diseases and produce a big amount of pharmacies and vaccines.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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Suggestion:
...ake huge progress in human longevity. First of all, people managed to decode h...
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Suggestion: This
...diseases are possible for every person. this means that with the correct guidance th...
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Suggestion:
...today I would be paralyzed in my bed. Secondly, many labs today with the help ...
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Suggestion: Today
...h rate in Kenya under 35 years was 60%. today, because people there have better acces...
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Suggestion:
...supply all the people that need them. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that ...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, third, for instance, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 43.0788530466 93% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 52.1666666667 90% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1854.0 1977.66487455 94% => OK
No of words: 376.0 407.700716846 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.93085106383 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40348946061 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64718390305 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 212.727598566 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.550531914894 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 584.1 618.680645161 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 32.8882788982 48.9658058833 67% => OK
Chars per sentence: 77.25 100.406767564 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.6666666667 20.6045352989 76% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.41666666667 5.45110844103 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.85842293907 233% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.107607117477 0.236089414692 46% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0311911460467 0.076458572812 41% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0193417602632 0.0737576698707 26% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0615768442052 0.150856017488 41% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0256361741477 0.0645574589148 40% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.6 11.7677419355 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.25 58.1214874552 97% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.02 10.9000537634 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.91 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 86.8835125448 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 10.002688172 60% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.