Independent TOEFL essay - TPO 5: Agree or disagree : People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment - Doing things they like to do - rather than doing things they should do.

Using time efficiently is one of the things that humans share from the past till now. Some people believe that people today are lazy and procrastinator because of the amenities and entertaining things that they have. Others think the opposite. Personally, I believe that people nowadays spend as much effort as those in the past and may be more for the following reasons.

To begin with, the advance that we have today reflects the hard work that human beings do. In engineering field, we can witness the comfortable and convenient buildings that we live in; skyscrapers that are found in many countries; electricity that makes our lives brighter and more practical. All these things are evidence of hard working of human today that still look forward to make more improvement and development for future. Therefore, people today spend lots of time in things they have to do, not only for enjoyment.

Secondly, people spend lots of time in studying. Universities' requirements are difficult to be fulfilled. And still we can see that students are willing to get bachelor, master, and doctorate degrees. This help to find lots of discoveries like in medicine field. The discovery of laser, MRI, and lots of medications helps people to live healthier lifestyle. In addition, the progress in technology like cell phones, computers, and Internet improves our lives. These inventions and others are done by people today.

Finally, the life is easier and more enjoyable these days. Efforts of people today facilitate many things. For instance, in transportation means, we have the fast subways, convenient cars and airplane that equipped with many technological means to make travel fast and comfortable. Moreover, the enhancement included the entertaining aspect. People can enjoy watching movies in cinemas with three dimension means. They can have pleasant time while staying at home by playing video games or watching different channels on TV. Thus, because of the hard effort of people today, we can enjoy all of these things.

To sum up, people spend lots of time on the important aspect in the life more than just spend time on enjoyment things. This is obvious because of all the discoveries that we have now. I think it is a nature of people to balance their time between work and enjoyment, which will never be changed.

Average: 5 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

electricity that makes our lives brighter and more practical.
electricity makes our lives brighter and more practical.

convenient cars and airplane that equipped with many technological means
convenient cars and airplanes that are equipped with many technological means

The essay is not exactly right on the topic. You are talking about the contributions of human being as a whole nowadays in comparison to that of past.

Need to compare whether people nowadays spend a lot of time for personal enjoyment or Doing something they have to.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? in 30
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 384 350
No. of Characters: 1885 1500
No. of Different Words: 196 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.427 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.909 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.615 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 124 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 90 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.36 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.687 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.56 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.286 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.473 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.101 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5