many people believe that parents are too permissive to their children. Do you agree that this is a problem. Defend your answer

Essay topics:

many people believe that parents are too permissive to their children. Do you agree that this is a problem. Defend your answer

Nowadays, parents are sometimes accused of corrupting their children by being permissive to them. I think oppositely and believe that the permissive approach of the parents toward their children is not a problem.

The young are highly energetic and eager to explore the world. They have hunger for acquiring novel experiences and barely have strong concerns for anything that deter them from their goals. Therefore, they may take risks and participate in relentless acts with or without having their parents' permission. Modern psychology suggests giving the necessary knowledge to children and then the responsibility to decide what to do independently. Consequently, they will feel happy because of feeling the independency. Moreover, they mostly will choose the right thing if they have enough knowledge.

Having the permission to explore the world of exciting unknowns will produce a trusting atmosphere between children and parents. Thus, in case of any doubt or serious condition, the young will refer to their parents as their main supporters. I remember a friend of mine who was sexually harassed in a teenage party, where she was not allowed by her parents to go. However, she was afraid to tell the problem to them. Instead, she started to feel depressed and anxious.

Moreover, if children trust their parents and perceived them as friendly, supportive, and considerate guides they will freely talk about their new experiences and about their future plans. In this way, parents will become aware of any potential danger or wrongdoing and will be rather capable of protecting their naïve children from possible harms.

To come to a conclusion, permissiveness is not a problem especially when it is preceded by proper knowledge. Parents who feed their kids with useful information should not restrict their chance of experiencing their free will. I believe that being permissive is not a problem.

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Average: 8 (1 vote)
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if children trust their parents and perceived them as friendly, supportive, and considerate guides they will freely talk about their new experiences and about their future plans
Description: 'they' refers to what? Be sensitive to use pronouns.

Parents who feed their kids with useful information should not restrict their chance of experiencing their free will.
Description: 'their' refers to what? Be sensitive to use pronouns.

Sentence: Consequently, they will feel happy because of feeling the independency.
Error: independency Suggestion: No alternate word

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 303 350
No. of Characters: 1566 1500
No. of Different Words: 172 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.172 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.168 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.742 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 118 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.833 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.708 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.444 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.291 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.537 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.088 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

Hi,
Something is strange to me about the grading of the essays. Please look at the following essay.

http://www.testbig.com/independent-toefl-writing-essays/ad-best-way-redu...

It is nonsense, full of grammatical errors. However, it got a 27.
I clearly see my faults but I don't understand why my essay deserves 23, considering the above mentioned essay.
I am getting disappointed.

You mean why this essay got 27:
http://testbig.com/independent-toefl-writing-essays/ad-best-way-reduce-…

first look at this attribute:
No. of Different Words: 254 200

it deserves over 25 even by this item, even though it has grammatical issues too.

and also look at its organizations, it is well organized with good reasons and examples.

-----------------------------
Well, look at the attributes of this essay:

No. of Words: 303 350
No. of Different Words: 172 200
Sentence Length SD: 5.708 7.5

they don't have high ranks.

then look at the organizations:
the third and fourth paragraphs are talking about the same thing which should be put into one paragraph.