People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment Doing things they like to do rather than doing things they should do

Essay topics:

People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment. Doing things they like to do- rather than doing things they should do.

Nowadays, people have the right to decide for themselves, and we are able to seek our own happiness. In my opinion, many people tend to choose spending time alone for their enjoyment rather than doing things they should do, because we can decide by myself what I want to do. Therefore, I agree with this statement. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

To begin with, many individuals have their own hobbies and desires to achieve something. Aside from working and studying at school, we should spend time alone. mainly because, compared to the past, we have a lot of individual time. For example, I have a hobby of traveling and experiencing new things. Furthermore, I have a dream of working in the United States as a journalist. In order to achieve these desires, I definitely need a large amount of time, and I do not have time to waste. Some successful people drop out of school to prioritize their time. But I believe all of our rights to decision-making belong to ourselves. 

Secondly, time for self-enjoyment is quite important. Nowadays, we have to socialize with people in company and school. Therefore, we do not have much time to spend alone and relax. For example, when I was a high school student, my hobby was playing video games. However, I had to go to school and play soccer for my club team. One cannot deny that studying is the most important thing and should be prioritized for students, but I did not want to go to the soccer club team. Although playing soccer and communicating with team mates were fun, I needed time to relax and enjoy my hobbies. We had to go to the club every day even though it was our holiday. Now, I have more time to myself, and I think time alone is important for me. 

In conclusion, sometime, people should prioritize doing something, which they should do. However, separating time for our desires, such as hobbies or dreams, is extremely important to ensure our satisfaction. Therefore, I definitely agree that people spend too much time on personal enjoyment instead of doing what they ought to do. 

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 144, Rule ID: AFFORD_VBG[1]
Message: This verb is used with infinitive: 'to spend'.
Suggestion: to spend
... my opinion, many people tend to choose spending time alone for their enjoyment rather t...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 161, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Mainly
... at school, we should spend time alone. mainly because, compared to the past, we have ...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 629, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... to decision-making belong to ourselves.  Secondly, time for self-enjoyment is qui...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 733, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... I think time alone is important for me.  In conclusion, sometime, people should p...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 333, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... instead of doing what they ought to do. 
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, furthermore, however, second, secondly, so, therefore, for example, i feel, i think, in conclusion, such as, in my opinion, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.0286738351 45% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 49.0 43.0788530466 114% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 52.1666666667 88% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1743.0 1977.66487455 88% => OK
No of words: 370.0 407.700716846 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.71081081081 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38581623665 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70905874236 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 212.727598566 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.513513513514 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 549.9 618.680645161 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 35.726723336 48.9658058833 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 79.2272727273 100.406767564 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.8181818182 20.6045352989 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.45454545455 5.45110844103 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.342522015453 0.236089414692 145% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.100090091827 0.076458572812 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.157888790544 0.0737576698707 214% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.265874359744 0.150856017488 176% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.158956630727 0.0645574589148 246% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.2 11.7677419355 78% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 10.1575268817 83% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.74 10.9000537634 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.2 8.01818996416 90% => OK
difficult_words: 65.0 86.8835125448 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.