People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.

Nowadays, because we need to attend a lot of different things, sometimes at work other time at home. We stopped to do our personal desire. Because of this, I think that people are not spending time on personal enjoyment because they need to do what really needs to be done. Normally we need to do things to receive money or sometimes to attend our families necessities.

First of all, the cost of living is very high nowadays and it is normal that we need to pay our bills. We only can do this if we have work and in these days it is not easy to find a job. To be hired we need to attend the demand of the job, not our want. In Brazil, the level of unemployed never have so high and it is normal to see, for example, engineering people driving as a taxi driver. When I finished my graduation, I have dreamed to work in a big company but, because of the Brazilian crises, I needed to go work as an Uber drive to pay my bills. Even though this work is very well paid, there is not my personal option.

Second, our society is based on appearances and sometimes we need to do something that is not enjoyable for us to be accepted in certain environments. This happens em families for example when on a person of the couple needs to something to another. We I decided to get married I used to have a sport car to attend my wellness but, because of the car is not fit our reality, because I needed a bigger car I had sold my car and I bought a SUV, a kind of family car.

Thus, it is fair to conclude that we are not doing our personal enjoyment but we normally have a good reason to make this change and sometimes, even though there are no instantly benefit, in the future we will receive this.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 437, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...gger car I had sold my car and I bought a SUV, a kind of family car. Thus, it ...
^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, really, second, so, thus, well, for example, i think, kind of, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 50.0 43.0788530466 116% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 52.1666666667 84% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1372.0 1977.66487455 69% => OK
No of words: 329.0 407.700716846 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.17021276596 4.8611393121 86% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.25891501996 4.48103885553 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.39594280792 2.67179642975 90% => OK
Unique words: 157.0 212.727598566 74% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.477203647416 0.524837075471 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 450.0 618.680645161 73% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.9433070073 48.9658058833 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.0 100.406767564 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.5 20.6045352989 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.5 5.45110844103 119% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 11.8709677419 42% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.166240611444 0.236089414692 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0774388413779 0.076458572812 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.087068204373 0.0737576698707 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.121619698936 0.150856017488 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0921262574132 0.0645574589148 143% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.0 11.7677419355 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 65.05 58.1214874552 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.2 10.9000537634 66% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.13 8.01818996416 89% => OK
difficult_words: 49.0 86.8835125448 56% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.