In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do
you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific
reasons and details
In this day, many students have some part-time jobs besides studying at school. Nevertheless, I do not think it is a good idea because students have less time for their study and are more likely to be stressful in their lives. Thus, I believe that students should not do part-time job while they are studying and I will discuss this in the following essay.
Firstly, it is obvious that if students do it, they pay less attention on their study which makes their study worse by days and days. Doing part-time jobs is very exhausted and requires students to work until nine o’clock at the evening. While doing part-time jobs, students easily meet many bad-tempered guests which force students to serve them perfectly. If they do not make them comfortable, they will shout at them and managers will also criticized them. Thus, part-time jobs are quite tiring so students do not have much attention for their study after they finish their part-time jobs. Sometimes, they go to bed immediately because of tiredness. Gradually, they do their homework and assignments superficially and their grades are getting worse and worse. My experience as a junior is a compelling example of this. At that time, I worked as a waiter at a restaurant. I was always the best student in my class. However, the longer I worked at the restaurant, the more bad grades I got. As a result, my overall grade was not over 8.0 and lost my reward as a excellent student that year. If I had not worked at the restaurant and spent more time studying, I would have got the award.
Secondly, students easily get stressed when they do part-time jobs and study at school at the same time. This is because doing part-time job is so tiring and studying at school has many pressures. These students have to face many difficulties every day at the restaurants. They have to deal with their guests, selfish co-workers and managers. Furthermore, they have to handle assignments at school. If they do not finish these homework, they will get bad points which have a bad effect on their future. Thus, these students suffer from many pressures in both their work and study. Thus, gradually, they get stressed and has many mental diseases. My friend is a compelling example of this. Unlike me, she did many part-time jobs at the same time. This was because she did not have enough money to pay for tuition. Thus, she finished these jobs until eleven o’clock at the evening and then she studied until three o’clock every morning. Gradually, she looked unhealthy and so stressed. If she hadnot done these jobs, she would have obviously be more healthy and look so bad.
In conclusion, I hold with the idea that students should not do part-time jobs. This is because they will spend less time studying which makes their study worse and easily get stressed.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 285, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hat students should not do part-time job while they are studying and I will discu...
^^
Line 2, column 443, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'criticize'
Suggestion: criticize
...ll shout at them and managers will also criticized them. Thus, part-time jobs are quite ti...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1061, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... was not over 8.0 and lost my reward as a excellent student that year. If I had n...
^
Line 3, column 421, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this homework' or 'these homeworks'?
Suggestion: this homework; these homeworks
...nments at school. If they do not finish these homework, they will get bad points which have a ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1040, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'been'.
Suggestion: been
...ne these jobs, she would have obviously be more healthy and look so bad. In concl...
^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...study worse and easily get stressed.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, look, nevertheless, second, secondly, so, then, thus, while, in conclusion, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 73.0 43.0788530466 169% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 43.0 52.1666666667 82% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2334.0 1977.66487455 118% => OK
No of words: 488.0 407.700716846 120% => OK
Chars per words: 4.78278688525 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70007681154 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52668837122 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 205.0 212.727598566 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.420081967213 0.524837075471 80% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 702.0 618.680645161 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 27.0 9.59856630824 281% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 32.0 20.6003584229 155% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 28.6946307859 48.9658058833 59% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 72.9375 100.406767564 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.25 20.6045352989 74% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.5 5.45110844103 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 16.0 3.85842293907 415% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.88709677419 205% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.206099360489 0.236089414692 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0701215771627 0.076458572812 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0478464870873 0.0737576698707 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.168340521974 0.150856017488 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0592787703438 0.0645574589148 92% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.7 11.7677419355 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 73.17 58.1214874552 126% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.8 10.1575268817 67% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.85 10.9000537634 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.77 8.01818996416 84% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 86.8835125448 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.247311828 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.