Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Nowadays, parents are working hard to make money and most of the time are busy. Therefore, they don’t have enough time to go shopping, because of this many of them pay money to their children as a gift. Actually, in my opinion, it’s not a bad idea. Money is the best gift for children who get a great grade at school.

First of all, when parents give their children money, they can learn how save it and never ask money from others. For example, after my father died, I’m used to save my money, because when I got a good mark at school, my sister gave me money to buy everything that I need. When I got a little older, she increased the amount of money. So, that made me always work hard and get a good score on my exams with the prize that my sister gave me, allowed me to buy a bike and go back home to school by bike.

In addition, Monetary Prize in 2019, is the best gift for students, because they can buy whatever they want according to their taste. I remember, when I was 10, My mother bought me a pink dress, which I hated. but she thought I should love it, because she loved that. I didn't show my feeling, but I really disappointed. At that moment I was really expecting that after four excellent grades in the hardest lessons, my mom should have bought me a Samsung tablet instead, a ridiculous pink dress.

In conclusion, A cash gift teaches students how to spend it and how to save it, and can even fulfill their small dreams. In fact, rewarding children with money can result in better future life to become interested in education, continue their education and face better job opportunities.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...and go back home to school by bike. In addition, Monetary Prize in 2019, is ...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 211, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: But
... bought me a pink dress, which I hated. but she thought I should love it, because s...
^^^
Line 7, column 271, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...ould love it, because she loved that. I didnt show my feeling, but I really disappoin...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t instead, a ridiculous pink dress. In conclusion, A cash gift teaches stude...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, first, if, really, so, therefore, for example, in addition, in conclusion, in fact, first of all, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 15.1003584229 40% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 43.0788530466 114% => OK
Preposition: 34.0 52.1666666667 65% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1338.0 1977.66487455 68% => OK
No of words: 300.0 407.700716846 74% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.46 4.8611393121 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.16179145029 4.48103885553 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.38158677263 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Unique words: 169.0 212.727598566 79% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.563333333333 0.524837075471 107% => OK
syllable_count: 407.7 618.680645161 66% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.8684992196 48.9658058833 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 89.2 100.406767564 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0 20.6045352989 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.4 5.45110844103 154% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.235666103811 0.236089414692 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0788104857943 0.076458572812 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0752124722927 0.0737576698707 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.144805543434 0.150856017488 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0880483681174 0.0645574589148 136% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.6 11.7677419355 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 58.1214874552 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.59 10.9000537634 79% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.26 8.01818996416 91% => OK
difficult_words: 50.0 86.8835125448 58% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.