Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Young age students are always tough to manage. Most of them do not like to study compare to other recreations, and also are easily distracted. To cope with this, some parents offer money in exchange for higher grade. However, I do not approve of money as an incentive, my reasons are as follows.

First of all, talking and dealing with money may cause a child to be more greedy. During children development, an amenable period, they are still building up their value of viewing this world. If parents always offer money for grades, the kid may think that money so important that anything should have a price. In this case, one would not appreciate the relation between their parents and would ask for even more money for the next thing parents ask to do.

In addition, youngsters should have a sense of spontaneity and responsibility, both of which would not achieve by using money to lure kids to study. Instead of offering money, parents should encourage kids to study themself and be responsible for they own future. Studying for money would not last for long.

Admittedly, some forms of reward really boost kids' performance. Instead of money, parents could offer a trip instead. A exotic trip is rare, so it would be impossible for kids to misconstrue that everything needs a trip as reward. On the other hand, a foreign experience would totally help with children's performance at school, since the trip would broaden their horizon and maybe even improve their language skills. For instance, I own reward of successful admission to Nation Taiwan University from my parents is a thirteen-day trip to Europe. During they period, I had experienced all those magnificent buildings and wonderful culture that I once saw in my textbook. I also had the chance to practice English speaking skills since moth of our English class in Taiwan is about reading and writing.

Based on the reasons above, I argue that money is inappropriate to offer kids as incentive. There are more suitable reward for galvanizing kids to study.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 13, column 119, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'An' instead of 'A' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: An
...ey, parents could offer a trip instead. A exotic trip is rare, so it would be imp...
^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, may, really, so, still, for instance, in addition, first of all, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 28.0 43.0788530466 65% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 52.1666666667 92% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1697.0 1977.66487455 86% => OK
No of words: 343.0 407.700716846 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.94752186589 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.30351707066 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63352303297 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 212.727598566 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.551020408163 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 521.1 618.680645161 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 37.0237761445 48.9658058833 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 84.85 100.406767564 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.15 20.6045352989 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.4 5.45110844103 99% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.263189972369 0.236089414692 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0805559062798 0.076458572812 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0595805019398 0.0737576698707 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.15296892259 0.150856017488 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0495697855048 0.0645574589148 77% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.5 11.7677419355 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.13 10.9000537634 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.84 8.01818996416 98% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 86.8835125448 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.