Some parents offer their school age children money for each high grade mark they get in school Do you think this is a good idea

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Attention to students' achievements has an undeniable effect on their future success and life. Some people claim that financial prize for each good grade is proper, but I do not think so. In my view, there are other important factors, which should be considered for encouraging little persons. I feel this way for 3 main reasons, that I will explore in the following essay.

Regarding the issue of devoting money as a prize for little students, one might suggest that it has not conformity with their wiling. To clarify, when I was an elementary school student, watching children's movies with my family in the cinema had become my favorite desire. Unfortunately, my parents had been working very hard, and they did not considered me. Not being familiar with my needs in that time, and for saving money to guaranty a better future, my father had given me $1 for each 20 score in my exams. At first, I was glad to some extent and even tried more for the next time. Gradually, I had not been so engaged for such passive gifts. By repeating this manner, not only did I lost my motivation, but I also did not do my best in my courses. As a result, intangible gifts which are proper to kids'age will have been a better choice.

Another aspect of monetary encouragement for students after each nice mark is vanishing it's impact during the time and not involving in other volunteer works. For example, if I buy a prize for my sister after each good mark, she would accustomed to this behavior. She will not try more for future activities without gift. Thus, expecting fast award will retard her from hardworking.

Most importantly, having considered that student in school time are not mature enough for thinking about correct use of money, each wisdom individual assert that it is not a good idea providing money for that age children. For instance, last year, when I gave $1000 to my 12 years-old girl as her surprise gift, he spent all of them on lottery! Had I supervised her spending money, I could have prevented from this disaster.

In all, what drives somebody to think that money is not good prize for children's school success may fall into 3 intrinsic categories including not looking to their real needs by their parents, not trying for difficult goals and wrong usage of money.

Votes
Average: 8.2 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 345, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: 'consider'
Suggestion: consider
...een working very hard, and they did not considered me. Not being familiar with my needs in...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 479, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... a better future, my father had given me for each 20 score in my exams. At first,...
^^
Line 5, column 844, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...kidsage will have been a better choice. Another aspect of monetary encouragement...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 236, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'accustom'
Suggestion: accustom
... sister after each good mark, she would accustomed to this behavior. She will not try more...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 384, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...award will retard her from hardworking. Most importantly, having considered that...
^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 424, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ould have prevented from this disaster. In all, what drives somebody to think th...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, look, may, regarding, so, thus, for example, for instance, i feel, as a result, in my view

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 43.0788530466 123% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 40.0 52.1666666667 77% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1895.0 1977.66487455 96% => OK
No of words: 400.0 407.700716846 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.7375 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.472135955 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5305125469 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 235.0 212.727598566 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.5875 0.524837075471 112% => OK
syllable_count: 579.6 618.680645161 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.054860816 48.9658058833 110% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.7368421053 100.406767564 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0526315789 20.6045352989 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.89473684211 5.45110844103 108% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.312228701201 0.236089414692 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0902526867003 0.076458572812 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.083986516463 0.0737576698707 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.186543519324 0.150856017488 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0426470477905 0.0645574589148 66% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 11.7677419355 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 67.08 58.1214874552 115% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.21 10.9000537634 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.23 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 86.8835125448 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 83.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.