Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Now-a-days parents should spend so many times for their children to train up them in compare with the past, because now children have so many fun (like internet and computer games) in their life which do not allows them to concentrate in their school work. Consequently, although some parent offers their school-age children money for each high grade they get in school, some others disagree. I personally believe it is a good idea because of the reasons which will be discuss in detail bellow.
The first and the most important reason is that, by offering money to children, parents can encourage them to get better marks in school. To be more specific, money can be a motivater for school-age children to work harder and get better mark in school. For instance, when I studied in school my father always offer me some present to get a good mark in school, so I always attempt to get a good mark to get my present.
The second reason is that, by getting money to school-age children, they can learn how they should work hard to get money in their future job. In fact, they can learn they should get money while they work hard in future and if they do not work hard they cannot earn money. Furthermore, parents can prepare their children for their future to become more successful in their job.
In conclusion, I completely agree about parents can offer their school-age children money for each high grade they get in school. Because by doing so, they can not only motivate to work hard in their school, but also they learn they should work hard to earn money in their future job.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 207, Rule ID: DONT_NEEDS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'allow'?
Suggestion: allow
...mputer games in their life which do not allows them to concentrate in their school wor...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 420, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t to get a good mark to get my present. The second reason is that, by getting mo...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, furthermore, if, second, so, while, for instance, in conclusion, in fact

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 15.1003584229 40% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.0286738351 45% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 36.0 43.0788530466 84% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 52.1666666667 77% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 8.0752688172 12% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1302.0 1977.66487455 66% => OK
No of words: 282.0 407.700716846 69% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.6170212766 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.09790868904 4.48103885553 91% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.30808299685 2.67179642975 86% => OK
Unique words: 123.0 212.727598566 58% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.436170212766 0.524837075471 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 380.7 618.680645161 62% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 20.6003584229 53% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 39.8658908868 48.9658058833 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.363636364 100.406767564 118% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.6363636364 20.6045352989 124% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.45454545455 5.45110844103 173% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.486660730429 0.236089414692 206% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.246389075913 0.076458572812 322% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.127628205917 0.0737576698707 173% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.346521455917 0.150856017488 230% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0473529862029 0.0645574589148 73% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 11.7677419355 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 71.48 58.1214874552 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.81 10.9000537634 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.95 8.01818996416 87% => OK
difficult_words: 37.0 86.8835125448 43% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.002688172 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.