Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Awards or a money are good for influence to people to improve their working or studying. this technique is often used in several environments. These environments universities, high-school or jobs. There are several advantages for that method.
First of all, all people want to earn more money or any other reward. In contrast, bosses want to get high performance for their employees. For that, employers apply different kind of techniques , the most effective technique is giving extra money, and some of the bosses give another gifts to workers. After using this, workers' performances are rised up.
Also, same kind of method is used for reducing students credit's point or enhancing to the top point of their functionalities.For it, parents always use this approach, and they can use some of this techniques.they sometimes use toy, ball, pant, or any others, but the money is the biggest gift which received by students.they can use it for what and when and where do they want.Beacuse families or other big member of parents may not know what they want, they do not cause their concentrations down.So this option is the huge productive to rise students ability up.
In my opinion, taking account of all above advantages i aggre this approach harshly.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 90, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...e to improve their working or studying. this technique is often used in several envi...
^^^^
Line 2, column 194, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...oyers apply different kind of techniques , the most effective technique is giving ...
^^
Line 2, column 253, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...ve technique is giving extra money, and some of the bosses give another gifts to workers. A...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 126, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: For
... the top point of their functionalities.For it, parents always use this approach, a...
^^^
Line 3, column 193, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...this approach, and they can use some of this techniques.they sometimes use toy, ball...
^^^^
Line 3, column 378, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Beacuse
...or what and when and where do they want.Beacuse families or other big member of parents...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 499, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: So
... do not cause their concentrations down.So this option is the huge productive to r...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, so, in contrast, kind of, first of all, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.0286738351 45% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 43.0788530466 53% => OK
Preposition: 24.0 52.1666666667 46% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1047.0 1977.66487455 53% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 207.0 407.700716846 51% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.05797101449 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.79308509922 4.48103885553 85% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94092083328 2.67179642975 110% => OK
Unique words: 133.0 212.727598566 63% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.642512077295 0.524837075471 122% => OK
syllable_count: 320.4 618.680645161 52% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 20.6003584229 49% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 150.165541986 48.9658058833 307% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 104.7 100.406767564 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.7 20.6045352989 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.0 5.45110844103 147% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.274362413551 0.236089414692 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0937590126064 0.076458572812 123% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.061938897388 0.0737576698707 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.14496476971 0.150856017488 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0713682002774 0.0645574589148 111% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 11.7677419355 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.07 10.9000537634 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.52 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 51.0 86.8835125448 59% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 5.0 10.002688172 50% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

More content wanted.
Minimum 250 words wanted.

Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.