some people believe that video games could inspire young student s interests and make their study more efficient rather than distracting them and the waste of time so young student should be allowed to play video games

Essay topics:

some people believe that video games could inspire young student's interests and make their study more efficient rather than distracting them and the waste of time so young student should be allowed to play video games

Nowadays, due to the progression of technology, there plenty of advanced video games which tempt student to spend their time on them more and more. I strongly agree that playing video games have a negative contribution to the students' education. In what follows, I will pinpoint the most irrefutable reasons.

To begin with, Nowadays, children spend most of their time playing video games, and their homework is sacrificed to play with them more and more. To elaborate on, since these sorts of games are really addictive, they cannot abandon them and start studying. In addition, the main disadvantage of being an addict is a sedentary lifestyle. Hence, owing to lack of movement stemming from playing with them, they will be exposed to a lot of mental and physical diseases, which take their time in order to spend their time on their assignments. Accordingly, students who are overwhelmed with their tasks do not have adequate time to study, and finally, I am certain that they will have many problems to pass their course. For example, when my father has bought X-box for my youngest brother, his performance at his courses was awful. For this reason, my father decided to sell X-box resulting in his performance back to normal. As a result, since these type of playing are addictive, they will have a negative effect on their education.

Apart from being addictive, the second debatable point is that some people believe that their mind will be involved with video games resulting in their mind receptivity to new material will be activated and they can learn everything effectively. However, others believe that their mind will be engaged negatively, and therefore, they always think about how to play better and better. For this reason, I will take the former viewpoint with a pinch of salt and claim that the latter idea is really close to the reality, for I do believe that the more they play video games, the more they endure the stress and pressure of them. To elucidate, they always think about how to pass the level of a match instead of thinking of how to solve their assignment. By way of illustration, according to the survey conducted by the University of Tehran, those students who spend more time on playing video games not only cannot focus on their study but also they are under the pressure of these games which decrease their productivity dramatically.

To wrap it up, by considering all aforementioned reasons, one soon realizes the negative importance of playing video games on student education inasmuch as in the first place, they will be addicted to play more and more, and as result of spending much time on them, their homework will be sacrificed, and in the second place, owing to play with them they have to bear a great deal of detrimental stress and tensions.

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Average: 7.5 (2 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 227, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
...mes have a negative contribution to the students education. In what follows, I will pinp...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, but, finally, first, hence, however, if, really, second, so, therefore, apart from, for example, in addition, as a result, to begin with, in the first place, in the second place

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 60.0 43.0788530466 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 78.0 52.1666666667 150% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2328.0 1977.66487455 118% => OK
No of words: 476.0 407.700716846 117% => OK
Chars per words: 4.89075630252 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67091256922 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60608883819 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 222.0 212.727598566 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.466386554622 0.524837075471 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 723.6 618.680645161 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 14.0 4.94265232975 283% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 20.1344086022 139% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 87.5085759515 48.9658058833 179% => OK
Chars per sentence: 136.941176471 100.406767564 136% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.0 20.6045352989 136% => OK
Discourse Markers: 11.5294117647 5.45110844103 212% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.294688576535 0.236089414692 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.110171405334 0.076458572812 144% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0885664851513 0.0737576698707 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.229928974926 0.150856017488 152% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0430881422357 0.0645574589148 67% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 11.7677419355 133% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 58.1214874552 89% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.38 10.9000537634 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.28 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 86.8835125448 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.0537634409 131% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.