TOPIC 33 You have received a gift of money The money is enough to buy either a piece of jewelry you like or tickets to a concert you want to attend Which would you buy

Life is filled with lots of chances that we should exploit them in the best way. Some people prefer to spend their money on recreational things. Others prefer to spend money on something they may benefit from it later. Personally, if I received a gift of money, I prefer to buy jewelry rather than tickets for a concert for the following reasons.

To begin with, women always like to wear different kinds of jewelry. It would be a good opportunity for me to buy a necklace, or bracelet of gold or diamond because I feel these things complement what I wear of clothes and make me more elegant. A beautiful woman always suits between her clothes and accessories to have a sharp looking. In addition, women like to brag in front of each other about what they are wearing of jewelry. Therefore, buying jewelry is better than a ticket for concert.

Second, buying jewelry means you still keep the money with you. When spending money on concert, you may have an enjoyable day and good memory about it, but then nothing. On the other hand, when purchasing jewelry, you save the money in this piece. If there is a need for money for any purpose like to pay tuition for university, or to buy some furniture, or add it to other amount of money to get a new car, you can sell the jewelry to buy what is more necessary in the life. Thus, buying jewelry means save money.

Finally, a piece of jewelry may help me to make more friends. For example, when I was in college, I had a gorgeous diamond ring. All my friends liked it. And sometimes they asked me to lend the ring to them if they have a special occasion or party. And I did. This made my relationships with them stronger and closer although I did not lose anything. It just I lent them for one day then they gave it back to me but I gained deep friendships. That is why I would rather to purchase jewelry instead of a ticket of concert because the last one will not benefit me in making more friends.

To sum up, jewelry is always a good chance to wear something nice and look neat and elegant, to save money, and to make more friends. In contrast, getting a ticket for concert will only allow me to have one pleasant night then nothing.

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flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.958 21.0
Average Word Length: 4.241 4.6

More compound or complex sentences/clauses wanted. Don't always use 'you, I, they' as the subject of a sentence.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 407 350
No. of Characters: 1726 1500
No. of Different Words: 199 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.492 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.241 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.253 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 107 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 79 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 32 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 19 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.958 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.533 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.708 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.302 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.516 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.167 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5