TPO-01 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.Use specific reaso

When it comes to the issue of the arrangement of the university budget. Some people claim that it is a waste of money to spend a great deal of money on sports and social activities. They believe that the library is the most important facility for student education. However, in my opinion, I firmly believe that universities and colleges should fund sports equally as they do for academics.Sports and social activities are crucial and even more important for students to achieve success in their life as well as to maintain their physical health and fitness.

First and foremost reason is that university is not only a place for students to learn the subjects, but also, it is a place for them to expand their social network and enhance their communication skills to prepare them for a better future.Many businesses require people who are not only professional in their field, but also has a good contact with people.Thus, the university should be a place for students to cultivate these skills and create the environment for them to communicate with each other by encouraging to establish students club, student union, and many other events. For example, when I was in the university, I was a member in a student club. I was successfully able to raise money to fund other projects for the university. Now, I am able to join in any social activities in my job and i am able to communicate with the customer easier. As you can see, the importance of fund social activities in the university for the student future.

Moreover, university is not only place for a student to expand their minds, but also a place for them to build their body.It is essential for students to stay in a good health by playing sports in the university playground. For example, my brother's school does not have any kind of activities.Now, He was not able to focus in his study since he felt active or energetic. However, when he went to college, he participated in soccer game in the college. It ended up that he got high grades in the college because, he was active. Recent research showed that the relationship between playing sports and the performance in academic subjects.This experience taught me that health is the prerquisite for the success in school.

To put it in a nutshell, universities should give the same a mount of money to promote sports and social activities. Not only to keep the students healthy;but also to cultivate social reationship that benefit them in their future.

Votes
Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
When it comes to the issue of the arrang...
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Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “When” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When it comes to the issue of the arrangemen...
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Line 1, column 368, Rule ID: EQUALLY_AS[1]
Message: Don't say 'equally as'. You can use either 'equally' or 'as' on its own. When comparing two nouns, use 'just as'.
Suggestion: equally; as; just as
...rsities and colleges should fund sports equally as they do for academics.Sports and social...
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Line 1, column 401, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Sports
...sports equally as they do for academics.Sports and social activities are crucial and e...
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Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...ain their physical health and fitness. First and foremost reason is that ...
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Suggestion: Many
...lls to prepare them for a better future.Many businesses require people who are not o...
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Suggestion: Thus
...but also has a good contact with people.Thus, the university should be a place for s...
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Suggestion: I
... in any social activities in my job and i am able to communicate with the custome...
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...the university for the student future. Moreover, university is not only plac...
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...so a place for them to build their body.It is essential for students to stay in a ...
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Suggestion: Now
...ol does not have any kind of activities.Now, He was not able to focus in his study ...
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Line 5, column 340, Rule ID: HE_THE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'since the felt'?
Suggestion: since the felt
..., He was not able to focus in his study since he felt active or energetic. However, when he w...
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Line 5, column 640, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: This
...nd the performance in academic subjects.This experience taught me that health is the...
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Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...erquisite for the success in school. To put it in a nutshell, universities sh...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, moreover, so, thus, well, as to, for example, kind of, as well as, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 43.0788530466 114% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 52.1666666667 109% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2057.0 1977.66487455 104% => OK
No of words: 425.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.84 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54043259262 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88794559467 2.67179642975 108% => OK
Unique words: 191.0 212.727598566 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.449411764706 0.524837075471 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 654.3 618.680645161 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Interrogative: 3.0 0.994623655914 302% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 125.934010498 48.9658058833 257% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 128.5625 100.406767564 128% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.5625 20.6045352989 129% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.9375 5.45110844103 127% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 14.0 5.5376344086 253% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.123522110443 0.236089414692 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.051697019892 0.076458572812 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0510096800433 0.0737576698707 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0955667344819 0.150856017488 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.043749932753 0.0645574589148 68% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 11.7677419355 124% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.09 10.9000537634 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.01 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 86.8835125448 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.