TPO-05 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.Use specific reasons and examples to suppo

So many people enjoy their youth and it was always like this. In many countries the parents will say good bye to their child when he reaches eighteen but in other countries they will support their kids till they are alive. I agree with this statement that people today spend too much time on personal enjoyment rather than doing things to help their parents and they should do and other responsibilities that they have.
I have following examples to support my idea.

First of all, they spent too much time on computer either for playing or match making. They have to study instead. The internet plays are extremely a lot and expensive for a child.Parents need to financially assist the child to have the game. Due to the fact that there is peer pressure on child that he needs the games to compare with other children in the same school.He forget that his responsibility is studying in school.

Moreover, when they have their own match and they reach certain age, they will spend time with the girl or the boy. They spend half of their life when they are young to play and afterwards to find someone that suits them. They will talk about their interest on the website for example hiking, kids, music, movie and they will put them on the website to attract others.

Furthermore, nowadays even kids or better to say teen agerin high school are prone to drugs and if they consume the drugs, for example Maryjuana, they will get addicted to them, its abridge to cocain and other hallucinative drugs as well.They do not have time for any other thing for sure. Preparing different drugs is time-consuming and needs financial support.

All in all, I agree with the statement that people especially children are not paying as much attention to their family nowadays. I believe that is because of the world that we have todays.

Votes
Average: 7 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

flaws:
need some contents for 'rather than doing things they should do.'

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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 323 350
No. of Characters: 1466 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.239 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.539 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.281 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 78 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 56 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 35 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 21 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.533 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.893 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.4 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.311 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.578 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.138 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5