TPO-05 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.Use specific reasons and examples to suppo

Nowadays, the people in the world just thinking about what things are makes them happy besides of their massive lives with this poor economic and totally chaos politics. For many of us, the goal of life isn’t ultimate wealth, a massive amount of stuff, or the perfect car. It’s happiness, plain and simple. Some people may be created happier than others, with enjoyment of life programmed into their hard-wiring. For others, getting to happiness isn’t always that simple. You weren’t programmed that way. But like any programming, yours can be changed. Rewrite your life program to include as many of the following tips as appeal to you, and the ultimate goal of happiness can be yours.

First, different things make different people happy. If you aren’t sure what your hot spots are, experiment. Try different things out. Find out what you enjoy most. If you are around angry, depressed or sad people, it will transfer to you. You can’t help it. But if you’re around people who are happy, that will also transfer to you. You’ll also learn their habits, and learn to react the way they do when something bad happens. Slowly weed out the negative influences on your life and replace them with positive ones. For example, I was a 16 years old girl who, after my friend’s murder on the street, I tried to suicide 3 times, and the people around me only blamed me and I was separated from society and my work, but after some time I learned advice with some professional people, and I found out my personal enjoyment doing that makes me happy, and it’s been a long time since I’ve been able to return to my community and work after many travels. So the people need sometimes spend too much time on personal enjoyment doing to not get depressed.

Second, today’s young people are looking for more fun than the things they have to do, for example, some people trough out their trash even it’s a rule to not do it and it has fine, but they do it and trough it wherever they like, and it doesn’t matter to them at all, what disaster on the environment and animals. I remember I was working for flag_ship places to protect the populations of wild zebras, and every weekend from biological universities make a campus to learn about wild animals but the problem is after they gone, our workers faced to lots of garbage of everything they just trough out on the ground and it’s like a poison for animals if they eat it.

In conclusion, that’s true the human life’s are short and they should enjoy it, but they should think about other creatures too, because our life’s are depended on others.

Votes
Average: 8.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 661, Rule ID: NOUN_AROUND_IT[1]
Message: Consider using 'the surrounding people'?
Suggestion: the surrounding people
...street, I tried to suicide 3 times, and the people around me only blamed me and I was separated from...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 360, Rule ID: FLAG_SHIP[1]
Message: Did you mean 'flagship'?
Suggestion: flagship
...d animals. I remember I was working for flag ship places to protect the populations of wi...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 168, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'depended'.
Suggestion: depended
...atures too, because our life's are depend on others.
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, if, look, may, second, so, for example, in conclusion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 26.0 13.8261648746 188% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 65.0 43.0788530466 151% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 63.0 52.1666666667 121% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2217.0 1977.66487455 112% => OK
No of words: 461.0 407.700716846 113% => OK
Chars per words: 4.80911062907 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63367139033 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54223827042 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 247.0 212.727598566 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.53579175705 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 670.5 618.680645161 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 13.0 1.86738351254 696% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 111.947190915 48.9658058833 229% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 100.772727273 100.406767564 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9545454545 20.6045352989 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.63636363636 5.45110844103 67% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.25209209657 0.236089414692 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0728442708865 0.076458572812 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0785496168081 0.0737576698707 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.15218021302 0.150856017488 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.06874506259 0.0645574589148 106% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 11.7677419355 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.62 10.9000537634 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.57 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 86.8835125448 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 5.5 10.002688172 55% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 83.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.