I would agree with the first half of the statement that people today will spend much time on the personal enjoyment doing things rather than doing things that they should. In my view I have two reasons to explain why the people's behavior is like that today, which I will be explaining in next paragraphs of the essay.
The first reason is today, everyone are stressed with their work. One of my college senior for example, he was always a person with a great zeal. When he joined a business corporate, he initially worked very hard, earned very good name. Now he is having nearly six to seven years of experience in that corporate and no w he seems to be indolent and not interested in the work he is doing. Rather, he is usually seen always playing games and listening to some music tracks. He says that he is frustrated and not interested in doing work. Here he is circumventing his work and enjoying doing other things.
The second reason is today's technology is making people lean their mind towards enjoyment rather than doing their jobs. For example, when we were kids, we did have facilities like mobile phones or anything. But today's younger generations are having access to these technologies very easily. My niece who is a graduate student in a college, is always seen chatting with their friends or watching a movie in You Tube or other. She usually studies only when her exams are just few days near. She does not do her daily homework. This advancement in technology is making people lean towards doing things which will give them enjoyment.
These are the reasons why the people do things that will give them personal enjoyment rather than doing thing that are actually to be done by them.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 222, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'peoples'' or 'people's'?
Suggestion: peoples'; people's
...w I have two reasons to explain why the peoples behavior is like that today, which I wi...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, first, second, so, for example, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 15.1003584229 146% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 43.0788530466 97% => OK
Preposition: 27.0 52.1666666667 52% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1411.0 1977.66487455 71% => OK
No of words: 302.0 407.700716846 74% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.67218543046 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.1687104957 4.48103885553 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.37272162361 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Unique words: 167.0 212.727598566 79% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.55298013245 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 427.5 618.680645161 69% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 37.5694973087 48.9658058833 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 83.0 100.406767564 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.7647058824 20.6045352989 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.35294117647 5.45110844103 62% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.357732503956 0.236089414692 152% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.120969889522 0.076458572812 158% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.154262947395 0.0737576698707 209% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.27640377039 0.150856017488 183% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.137706385877 0.0645574589148 213% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.4 11.7677419355 80% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 71.14 58.1214874552 122% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 10.1575268817 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.51 10.9000537634 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.15 8.01818996416 89% => OK
difficult_words: 51.0 86.8835125448 59% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.