TPO-08 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

We are living in a modern society with the assistance of technology, which provides people with many tremendous things. Advertisers also take advantages of technologies to create many wonderful advertisements. We see a lot of them on magazines, television and many where else. Therefore, people question whether people should allow children at the age of two to five watch television advertising. In my opinion, I do not agree with this statement. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, advertising may mislead children. We all know that advertisers always create ads that look more beautiful than they are in reality. Meanwhile, children around the age of two to five do not develop enough to distinguish which ones are fancy or real. Therefore, they usually believe what they see. My nephew is a compelling example of this case. He is four years now. He loves to watch advertising on television and following what figures do on television. One day he saw the adverting of cookies. It shown that after a little boy ate a cookie, he became a prince. My nephew believed that if he ate a cookie, he would be the same that boy. Therefore, he tried to ask his mother to have a cookie. However, after he consumed that cookie, he waited for some minutes to become a prince like it appears on the television. He could not see it happening. As a result, He was crying and disappointed a lot.
Alongside the elaborated reason above, another idea is noteworthy to consider is that children at the age of two to five, if they pay attention to the screen of television, their eyes will be hurt. It is no doubt that advertisers make their products look nice and vivid with the pictures and lively effects. These things attract the attention of children. Likewise, it seems to me that most children love to watch advertisements. They will keep their eyes on T.V. By doing so, the gland on their eyes will be dried out and it affects negatively on the ability of children’s vision.
In conclusion, people have their own opinions about the issue whether people should allow television advertising toward directly on children at the age of two to five. For two aforementioned reasons, I totally believe that people should not allow them to watch television advertising.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, likewise, look, may, so, therefore, while, i feel, in conclusion, no doubt, as a result, first of all, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 55.0 43.0788530466 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 58.0 52.1666666667 111% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1921.0 1977.66487455 97% => OK
No of words: 398.0 407.700716846 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.82663316583 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46653527281 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8739512378 2.67179642975 108% => OK
Unique words: 205.0 212.727598566 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.515075376884 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 611.1 618.680645161 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 23.0 9.59856630824 240% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 20.1344086022 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 42.9929971648 48.9658058833 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 71.1481481481 100.406767564 71% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.7407407407 20.6045352989 72% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.25925925926 5.45110844103 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.88709677419 246% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.222282153416 0.236089414692 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0569939979927 0.076458572812 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0586083474885 0.0737576698707 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.145751680647 0.150856017488 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0420000062779 0.0645574589148 65% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.7 11.7677419355 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 65.73 58.1214874552 113% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 10.1575268817 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.14 10.9000537634 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.07 8.01818996416 88% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 86.8835125448 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.0537634409 76% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.