TPO-09 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Technology has a great impact on all aspects of life. Simply it makes our life easier than before. But everything in our life has its negative side along with its positive side. one of technology negatives it that it has made children less creative than they were in the past. Which i agree with for the following reasons .

First of all, I would like to mention what children like the most, which is video games. Although some of these games has some mental activities to help the child's brain develop, However, Video games has made children less creative. Children in the past used to hand make their own toys and games, my parents told me that they used to make their own bikes from wood which helped in developing the child creativity at that time. I personally used to build houses out of small metal pieces, we used to call it meccano. Unfortuntly, Children nowadays are more attracted to the games that require minimal thinking.

Second, Today Children and teen-agers prefer to play alone on their computers which indeed will affect their socializing skill on the long run. Also, this might affect their bodies as most children prefer to play on the computer rather than playing any kind of sports. Before advanced technology was introduced to children's life, Children used to go out play with their friends and family, the good thing about that is it helped developing good socializing skills as well as healthy bodies.

Third, When i was at school we used to be creative with our gifts, For example, On mother's day we used to compete who would get the most creative gift for his or her mom. Nowadays unfortunetly children celebrate different occasions by texting or posting on social media such as facebook.

In conclusion, I am thankful for technology that made our life easier, comfortable and safer in all aspects of life but i still agree that it had a negative impact on the child creativity.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 180, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: One
...tive side along with its positive side. one of technology negatives it that it has ...
^^^
Line 1, column 285, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...ative than they were in the past. Which i agree with for the following reasons . ...
^
Line 1, column 323, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...h i agree with for the following reasons . First of all, I would like to menti...
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Line 3, column 146, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...f these games has some mental activities to help the childs brain develop, Howeve...
^^
Line 5, column 49, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... Today Children and teen-agers prefer to play alone on their computers which inde...
^^
Line 5, column 432, Rule ID: ADVISE_VBG[5]
Message: The verb 'help' is used with infinitive: 'to develop' or 'develop'.
Suggestion: to develop; develop
... the good thing about that is it helped developing good socializing skills as well as heal...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 14, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...ell as healthy bodies. Third, When i was at school we used to be creative wi...
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Line 7, column 160, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...would get the most creative gift for his or her mom. Nowadays unfortunetly childr...
^^
Line 9, column 143, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...spects of life but i still agree that it had a negative impact on the child creat...
^^

Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'first', 'however', 'if', 'second', 'so', 'still', 'third', 'well', 'for example', 'in conclusion', 'kind of', 'such as', 'as well as', 'first of all']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.245179063361 0.229887763892 107% => OK
Verbs: 0.159779614325 0.158761421928 101% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0798898071625 0.0866891130778 92% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0468319559229 0.046263068375 101% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0853994490358 0.0685040099705 125% => OK
Prepositions: 0.129476584022 0.118717715034 109% => OK
Participles: 0.0247933884298 0.0351676179071 71% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.45264890381 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0358126721763 0.0309702414327 116% => OK
Particles: 0.00275482093664 0.00188951952338 146% => OK
Determiners: 0.0661157024793 0.0887237588012 75% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0110192837466 0.0209618222197 53% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0220385674931 0.0139019557991 159% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 1928.0 2387.08602151 81% => OK
No of words: 332.0 408.028673835 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.80722891566 5.86048508987 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.2685907696 4.48200974243 95% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.301204819277 0.338922669872 89% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.228915662651 0.251872472559 91% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.165662650602 0.174417080927 95% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0903614457831 0.112833075102 80% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.45264890381 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Unique words: 187.0 212.727598566 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.563253012048 0.524397521467 107% => OK
Word variations: 61.5643539485 59.2087087015 104% => OK
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6684587814 77% => OK
Sentence length: 20.75 20.5533526081 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.0032059761 48.84282405 109% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.5 120.699889404 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.75 20.5533526081 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.0 0.644075263715 155% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.5376344086 110% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.54480286738 162% => OK
Readability: 43.6415662651 45.7405998639 95% => OK
Elegance: 1.3679245283 1.45489161554 94% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.298167561957 0.300154397459 99% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0993323684623 0.103427244359 96% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0641964036971 0.0752933317313 85% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.552722285827 0.497263757937 111% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.171096638062 0.151897553556 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.115938829445 0.114077575197 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0755027802231 0.0781384742642 97% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.180252207445 0.336927656856 53% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0813500017861 0.067059652881 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.174966271151 0.210909579961 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0624170923692 0.0618886996521 101% => OK

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8870967742 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.86379928315 26% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.91756272401 20% => More neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 12.0 8.42114695341 142% => OK
Negative topic words: 0.0 2.4623655914 0% => More negative topic words wanted.
Neutral topic words: 1.0 2.75985663082 36% => OK
Total topic words: 13.0 13.6433691756 95% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Although some of these games has some mental activities to help the child's brain develop, However, Video games has made children less creative.
Although some of these games have some mental activities to help the child's brain develop, Video games have made children less creative.

Sentence: Second, Today Children and teen-agers prefer to play alone on their computers which indeed will affect their socializing skill on the long run.
Error: teen-agers Suggestion: teenagers

Sentence: Nowadays unfortunetly children celebrate different occasions by texting or posting on social media such as facebook.
Error: unfortunetly Suggestion: unfortunately

flaws:
1. better not use personal experiences for examples, or use them as less as possible. follow this user:
http://www.testbig.com/users/ftn

2. Don't put whole paragraph as an example, look:

Third, When i was at school we used to be creative with our gifts, For example, On mother's day we used to compete who would get the most creative gift for his or her mom. Nowadays unfortunetly children celebrate different occasions by texting or posting on social media such as facebook.

we like to put a reason first, then some arguments, then example.. Try this pattern:

Para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree. (suppose we support side A)

Para 2: First, reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 1 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).

Para 3: Second, reason 2, blabla... do the same thing as First

Para 4: Third, reason 3, blabla....(You may change a little bit for the reason 3, like this: Admittedly, there are some advantages of side B. first,....second...However, there is no causation/relation... Still I support side A, ...first,....second...)

Para 5: Conclusion.

An simple example (Eating at home or restaurant) for paragraph 2:
Para 2: First, reason 1 (1 sentence: Eating at home can save money) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences: I can prepare cheaper food from food market; I don't need to drive or take a bus to reach the restaurant; I don't need to pay tips...) + examples for reason 1 (around 1 sentence: for example, a sandwich can cost me $10 at restaurant, but it only cost me $5 at home.) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences: with the money I saved, I can buy a good book to read; I can use the money for a trip...).

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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 331 350
No. of Characters: 1542 1500
No. of Different Words: 184 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.265 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.659 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.395 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 96 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 70 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.067 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.129 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.346 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.601 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.126 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5