TPO 13Do you agree or disagree ?The extended family (grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles) is less important now than it was in the past?

Essay topics:

TPO 13

Do you agree or disagree ?The extended family (grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles) is less important now than it was in the past?

Nowadays, no one can deny the importance of family. Some people may hold the opinion that extended family is not imprtant as the past. But others have a negative attitude. As far as I am concerned, I disagree with the first opinion because, obviously, if you have larger family then you have more friends, happier life and you can learn more thing during your life. I will try to exmine my specific reasons for the importance of having large family according to which I think are the most common viewpoints today.

First let us look at what a person can typically gain in largher family. It goes without saying that, larger family means more friends. Having more friends causes less bad feeling in your life, and you do not have to spend your invaluable time alone. By way of illustration, I live in a culture that having large family is prevalent and there is good relationship between grandparents, cousins and other members of extended family. So, I have many friends among these people. In other hand, my classmate in university has a very smaller family and he think he become isolated from other people because he has not more friends.

There is also a more subtle point we must consider. Related to my first result in extended family you have more and more enjoyful times. Due to have many friends, you can experience more disport and recreate. Assorted factors makes our life more desirable if we be relate with another members of extended family. Take our family for example again, we often go to many places such as cinema, park and shopping together and it is useful and help for having high quality of lifestyle.

Finally, I cannot oversee the fact that if you have more family member near to you and communicate with many of them, you can learn many valuable lessons from their experiences. To shed more light on the issue, according to the result of the study done in Tehran University, not only extended family help you to have better social ability in society, but also it aim you to have less mistake in your dicisions because you can learn from others about thier faults and mistakes.

Drawing upon the reasons, although there are always some exceptions which are excluded from the general rule, I do agree that the merits of extended family is more than its dismerits. To recapitulate the reasons, not only extended family help you to have more friends, but also it is useful for happeir and joyful life and learning many experiences.

Votes
Average: 4.2 (4 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 552, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'thinks'.
Suggestion: thinks
...ersity has a very smaller family and he think he become isolated from other people be...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 364, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'aims'?
Suggestion: aims
... social ability in society, but also it aim you to have less mistake in your dicisi...
^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'finally', 'first', 'if', 'look', 'may', 'so', 'then', 'for example', 'i think', 'such as']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.209302325581 0.229887763892 91% => OK
Verbs: 0.158562367865 0.158761421928 100% => OK
Adjectives: 0.118393234672 0.0866891130778 137% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0634249471459 0.046263068375 137% => OK
Pronouns: 0.093023255814 0.0685040099705 136% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.114164904863 0.118717715034 96% => OK
Participles: 0.0317124735729 0.0351676179071 90% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.41602966036 2.67179642975 90% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0274841437632 0.0309702414327 89% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00188951952338 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0528541226216 0.0887237588012 60% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0211416490486 0.0209618222197 101% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00845665961945 0.0139019557991 61% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2463.0 2387.08602151 103% => OK
No of words: 429.0 408.028673835 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.74125874126 5.86048508987 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55107846309 4.48200974243 102% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.342657342657 0.338922669872 101% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.226107226107 0.251872472559 90% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.142191142191 0.174417080927 82% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0722610722611 0.112833075102 64% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.41602966036 2.67179642975 90% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.501165501166 0.524397521467 96% => OK
Word variations: 56.1613044867 59.2087087015 95% => OK
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6684587814 97% => OK
Sentence length: 21.45 20.5533526081 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 66.1675146881 48.84282405 135% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.15 120.699889404 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.45 20.5533526081 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.6 0.644075263715 93% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.5376344086 110% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.54480286738 36% => OK
Readability: 44.0607226107 45.7405998639 96% => OK
Elegance: 1.12751677852 1.45489161554 77% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.313205972428 0.300154397459 104% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0777862029964 0.103427244359 75% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0693763053115 0.0752933317313 92% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.497850533254 0.497263757937 100% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.166711662975 0.151897553556 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.111634498833 0.114077575197 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0710461700116 0.0781384742642 91% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.338672142517 0.336927656856 101% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0435355562835 0.067059652881 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.214778211022 0.210909579961 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0433861391879 0.0618886996521 70% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8870967742 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.86379928315 129% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.91756272401 61% => OK
Positive topic words: 12.0 8.42114695341 142% => OK
Negative topic words: 4.0 2.4623655914 162% => OK
Neutral topic words: 2.0 2.75985663082 72% => OK
Total topic words: 18.0 13.6433691756 132% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

---------------------
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

and there is good relationship
and there is a good relationship

Sentence: In other hand, my classmate in university has a very smaller family and he think he become isolated from other people because he has not more friends.
Description: The fragment he think he is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace think with verb, past tense

Sentence: Assorted factors makes our life more desirable if we be relate with another members of extended family.
Description: The fragment factors makes our is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace makes with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to another and members

Due to have many friends,
Due to having many friends,
Due to many friends,

not only extended family help you to have better social ability in society, but also it aim you to have less mistake in your dicisions
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?

Sentence: Some people may hold the opinion that extended family is not imprtant as the past.
Error: imprtant Suggestion: important

Sentence: I will try to exmine my specific reasons for the importance of having large family according to which I think are the most common viewpoints today.
Error: exmine Suggestion: examine

Sentence: First let us look at what a person can typically gain in largher family.
Error: largher Suggestion: larger

Sentence: Related to my first result in extended family you have more and more enjoyful times.
Error: enjoyful Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: To shed more light on the issue, according to the result of the study done in Tehran University, not only extended family help you to have better social ability in society, but also it aim you to have less mistake in your dicisions because you can learn from others about thier faults and mistakes.
Error: dicisions Suggestion: divisions
Error: thier Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: Drawing upon the reasons, although there are always some exceptions which are excluded from the general rule, I do agree that the merits of extended family is more than its dismerits.
Error: dismerits Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: To recapitulate the reasons, not only extended family help you to have more friends, but also it is useful for happeir and joyful life and learning many experiences.
Error: happeir Suggestion: happier

---------------------
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2

---------------------
Try to use less pronouns (like 'It, I, They, We, You...') as the subject of a sentence. Look:

As far as
I am concerned,
I disagree with the first opinion because, obviously, if
you have larger family then you have more friends, happier life and
you can learn more thing during your life.
I will try to exmine my specific reasons for the importance of having large family according to which
I think are the most common viewpoints today.

----------------------
read TOEFL essays by this user and follow her writing styles:
http://www.testbig.com/users/ftn
----------------------

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 429 350
No. of Characters: 1978 1500
No. of Different Words: 215 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.551 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.611 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.303 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 142 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 91 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 51 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.45 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.732 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.65 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.37 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.544 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.223 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5