TPO 2 (independent)

Essay topics:

TPO 2 (independent)

It is a debatable topic how the budgets of universities and colleges shall be distribute between social and academic activities. When face with this decision, quite a few people would deem that, it is a good idea to spend most of the universities' budgets on academic issues, but others, in contrast, hardly believe that universities have to assign equal amount of money for the aforementioned activities as the premier choice and that is also my point. I would like to reinforce my opinion by three important reasons.

First, there is a general perception that, most businesses require people who are able to interact in society to a high extent; therefore, social activities are of high importance as academic activities. Definitely, there are many kinds of work in companies that cannot be done by a single person, as a consequent, social skills and team spirit are fundamental abilities for a student after graduation, as academical experts. If we support sports and social activities financially, students would have the opportunity to practice the prerequisites of their future job. For instance, playing football will bring a sense of belonging and experience team working for the students.

Second, there is an irrefutable evidence that, doing physical activities will reduce everyone's stress. Undoubtedly, students will feel exhausted after concentrating on an academical issue for long time; frustrated and tired people are not able to do intellectual activities as well as fresh and relaxed ones. Thus, doing sports will increase the students' efficiency during their education. For example, when I was studying for my master degree doing, doing Yoga exercises help me a lot to refresh my brain for concentrating on my classes.

Third, although academic education is the heart of universities, subsidize adequate money on sport and social activities as well as academic issues will not weaken academic standards for universities. Many universities throughout the United States have plenty of sport teams and have proved to be more successful than other universities, which do not care about social activities.

For these reasons, if universities' administrators pay equal attention to academic and social activities, they would be successful to prepare students for their future developments.

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the budgets of universities and colleges shall be distribute
the budgets of universities and colleges shall be distributed

When face with this decision, quite a few people would deem that,
When facing with this decision, quite a few people would deem that,

for long time
for a long time

doing Yoga exercises help me a lot
doing Yoga exercises helps me a lot

subsidize adequate money on sport and social activities as well as academic issues will not weaken academic standards
subsidizing adequate money on sport and social activities as well as academic issues will not weaken academic standards

flaws:
can you re-write this example:
Many universities throughout the United States have plenty of sport teams and have proved to be more successful than other universities, which do not care about social activities.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 359 350
No. of Characters: 1898 1500
No. of Different Words: 196 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.353 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.287 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.989 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 144 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 106 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 85 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 60 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.643 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.406 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.349 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.607 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.08 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

rewrite my example as per your request:

Nowadays, most of the universities of United States have various types of sport teams; moreover, they prove to be are more successful in comparison to others, which do not care about creating any social or sport groups among their students.

it is wrong to put a comma between others and which, because the 'which' is modifying 'others':
in comparison to others, which do not care about creating any social or sport groups among their students.

it should be:
in comparison to others which do not care about creating any social or sport groups among their students.

it manes you don't understand exactly how to use 'which'. You may read books about 'which'.