TPO-24 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.Use specific reasons and examples

Preparation of children to be an adult has been a global burning issue for years. Parents argue that encourage children to take a part-time job is one of the best way to make them ready for adult life. Personally, I strongly agree with this argument.
On one hand, what I put in my priority is responsibility. The fact is that when taking a part-time job, children are able to gain more experience. The environment provides them an opportunity to work under pressure. It is necessary for them to finish work before deadline. Therefore, there is a likelihood that they will become considerably responsible with their work, which lays the first step for their future career. More importantly, it is widely known that part-time job is a good chance for children to get some pocket-money. They are likely to have the experience in making and using money efficiently. Accordingly, it can be assured that they will understand the value of the money, which is probably useful for them to become a financially responsible adult in the future. With no doubt, taking part time job is clearly one of the best ways for children to prepare for life of an adult.
On the other hand, some people might say that part-time job takes a lot of children’s time, which will substantially reduce their time spent for education. Therefore, it has a critically negative influence on their knowledge to step in adult life. However, this opinion is not always true. In fact, the time spent for part time job and study is carefully managed. It can be assured that children is likely to organize their schedule to perfectly balance their time for part-time job and other activities, including study. Furthermore, part-time job offers children considerable amount of knowledge. They are able to acquire more information by communicating with their coworkers and manager. Working in the experience should be considered as a good way for children to broaden their knowledge of adult life. Beyond any doubt, the idea that taking part-time job will harm their knowledge to get in life is often possible to end in collapse.
In conclusion, responsibility and knowledge improvement are two convincing reasons for my agreement. It is highly recommended that readers should take my writing into close consideration.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 807, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...lt in the future. With no doubt, taking part time job is clearly one of the best ways for...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 325, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...lways true. In fact, the time spent for part time job and study is carefully managed. It ...
^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, first, furthermore, however, if, so, therefore, in conclusion, in fact, no doubt, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 15.1003584229 152% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 43.0788530466 91% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 52.1666666667 88% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1913.0 1977.66487455 97% => OK
No of words: 379.0 407.700716846 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.04749340369 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41224685777 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.97255285593 2.67179642975 111% => OK
Unique words: 187.0 212.727598566 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.493403693931 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 614.7 618.680645161 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.51792114695 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 35.8337370473 48.9658058833 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 83.1739130435 100.406767564 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.4782608696 20.6045352989 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.86956521739 5.45110844103 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.391789187554 0.236089414692 166% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.121793718324 0.076458572812 159% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.100924628336 0.0737576698707 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.254944369577 0.150856017488 169% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.10887191865 0.0645574589148 169% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.6 11.7677419355 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 58.1214874552 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.71 10.9000537634 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.85 8.01818996416 98% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 86.8835125448 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 10.002688172 60% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.