TPO 28 Task 2
Do you agree or disagree the following statement: Parents today are involved more in the education of their kids than those in the past.
Education is one of the most important things in our lives. Some think that parents of today work harder to help their children in their education than parents in the past. Personally I believe that parents today are more involved in their kids’ education than those in the past for the following reasons.
To begin with, people have more awareness about the importance of education. Nowadays to get a good job in the job marketing, you have to have a degree. The easy way to have a stable and secure life financially is through studying in the universities and then getting a great job with sufficient salary to fulfill the basic needs of life. It is better than engaging in free businesses, then you may succeed or not. Therefore parents assist their kids in education to provide suitable lives to them in future.
Second, parents today are educated more than parents in the past. Our grandparents especially grandmothers did not receive education. So they do not appreciate the importance of education. On the other hand, most of parents today got higher education and they realize the necessity and the influence of education in the life. Thus, parents today try to give the same level of education and may be more for their sons and daughters by helping them with their homework, buying computers, hiring tutors and providing different means of comfort to provide comfortable and convenient atmosphere for kids to study better.
Finally, the economic and social situations are better these days. Parents today are able financially to pay for the universities' expenses or at least participate with some of these expenses. There are also lots of scholarships, loan and other ways that make it easier for kids to get higher education. In addition, today, parents tend to have only a few numbers of children like only one or two. This enables them to focus more on their kids. In contrast, parents in the past tended to have large number of kids, so they did not have enough time and energy to be spent on helping children with their education.
To sum up, because of increasing awareness, educated parents, and the good economic and social situations, parents of today are taking better care of their kids’ education than parents in the past.
Comments
It is better than engaging in
It is better than engaging in free businesses, then you may succeed or not.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
I meant if someone does not have a college degree, he may start a business like open a clothing store. then this store may succeed and become profitable or may not succeed and then the person lose his money.
I don't know if it is clear!!
It is clear now. But don't
It is clear now. But don't think people can understand you well if you remove most of the content.
It is better than engaging in free businesses, then you may succeed or not.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 382 350
No. of Characters: 1819 1500
No. of Different Words: 179 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.421 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.762 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.532 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 121 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 94 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.1 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.899 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.347 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.518 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.137 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5