TPO-34 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phone, online games, and social networking Web site.U

There is no doubt that the education and technology are very important and they compatible each other at many ways. However, I agree that the recent technology has affected they study in a negative way contrary to what was expected. Someone can weigh the pros and cons of each side. The explanation is going to be as follows.

First of all, the massive influence of technology has affected all the world. Affected the old and the young. In addition to that the variety of applications between the games application or entertainment applications attract large quantity of children. Normally, the students will leave their study in order to have some fun on playing by video games.

Furthermore, the recent educational system becomes very boring and it depend on repeating, there are no creativity or positive addition to enhance the quality of education or make the study more interesting. So, the students feel boring very quickly and they leave their studies to play on cell phone or making chats with their friends. For example, when I was at secondary school, the subjects were very heavy and boring and I was could not endured to stay studying more than two hours. The internet and chatting rooms were very appealing to me, all of that affected my study and finally l have got very low degrees at the end of the year.

Finally, I think that the parents make a pressure in their kids to let them study. They shooting and screaming always to force them to attend their lectures or doing their homework. It is known that the tough way always has a bad impact on the children and the youngsters. In order to that, the children may lie on their parents and going to play. For instance, my dad used to screaming in my brother because he plays all the time by cell phone, so, in order to make dad stop screaming he close the room on himself and begins to playing more and more.

To sum up, due to the aforementioned reasons, all bulk should keep in mind that the widespread of internet and technology with the traditional way of education will lead to push the student away from their studying. Indeed, it is a big problem and the government and the Ministry of Education must find a way to solve it. They can contact with the experience in the education system to improve the recent education system to attractive one.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 185, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a negative way" with adverb for "negative"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...cent technology has affected they study in a negative way contrary to what was expected. Someone ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 171, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'games'' or 'game's'?
Suggestion: games'; game's
...the variety of applications between the games application or entertainment applicatio...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 71, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'depends'?
Suggestion: depends
...ional system becomes very boring and it depend on repeating, there are no creativity o...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 443, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: 'endure'
Suggestion: endure
...ry heavy and boring and I was could not endured to stay studying more than two hours. T...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, furthermore, however, may, second, so, for example, for instance, i think, in addition, no doubt, first of all, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 23.0 13.8261648746 166% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 43.0788530466 88% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 52.1666666667 111% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 8.0752688172 198% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1919.0 1977.66487455 97% => OK
No of words: 410.0 407.700716846 101% => OK
Chars per words: 4.68048780488 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49982852243 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5672872282 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 208.0 212.727598566 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.507317073171 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 593.1 618.680645161 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 8.0 3.08781362007 259% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.0002696071 48.9658058833 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.95 100.406767564 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.5 20.6045352989 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.85 5.45110844103 126% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 3.85842293907 285% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.140998408666 0.236089414692 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0380519705464 0.076458572812 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0344627825773 0.0737576698707 47% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0726348594239 0.150856017488 48% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0259331599355 0.0645574589148 40% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.9 11.7677419355 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 58.1214874552 117% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.86 10.9000537634 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.48 8.01818996416 93% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 86.8835125448 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.