TPO-34 - Independent Writing TaskDo you agree or disagree with the following statement?Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phone, online games, and social networking Web site.Us

In the recent decade, technology is an inevitable part of our lives not only for children but also for adults. At this point of view, a controversial situation arises in the education of children that spending so much time on cell phones, online games, and social networking Web site has become a more difficult task for educators than it was in the past. From my humble perspective, I disagree with the situation stated, since technology is beneficial if it can be used wisely. Following reasons expresses my viewpoint.

To begin with, an important advantage of media could facilitate and improve the communication between students and teachers. Most of the universities employ a networking Web site where teachers can open a discussion before a lecture in order for students to prepare them to the upcoming lecture. Additionally, the assignments can be posted online for students to upload, so there will be no need for printing the assignment and put into the box at the front door of the professor's office. In other words, it prevents wasting time for unnecessary responsibilities. I want to give an example to clarify my view at my freshman year at university. I had to go to my hometown at the deadline date because of a family issue, however, I haven't finished the assignment yet and I missed the deadline date. Then I finished the assignment back at home, and If I could upload it via online, I wouldn't have a problem. Fortunately, I got a deadline extension for my reason. Consequently, if educators profits these advantages of technology, students can easliy become better in their courses.

Subsequently, the other and related reason is to relieve stress. Children, especially in younger ages are much more sensitive to stress than adults, and they may not deal with stressful pressure. Video games is one of the ways to forget about those problems and focus on success afterward. Thus, a few hours of playing computer games benefited to relieve. Moreover, communication with friends is especially important for childeren to decrease their stress. I can mention about my brother to illustrate the situation with video games. My brother is sensitive to facing problems and they make him sad, and he cannot concentrate his courses at school. Then, a psychiatrist suggested to schedule a playing video game time for decrease his stress, and it worked, his grades increased. Consequently, students may play video games and communicate via cell phones to relieve.

In conclusion, I hold the opinion of using technology appropriately may be profited for students in the long term. Since it decreases stress, they achieve higher grades. Additionally, teachers can facilitate the education process by using networking Web sites of schools.

Votes
Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 276, Rule ID: WEB_SITE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'website'?
Suggestion: Website
...es, online games, and social networking Web site has become a more difficult task for ed...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 171, Rule ID: WEB_SITE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'website'?
Suggestion: Website
...of the universities employ a networking Web site where teachers can open a discussion be...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 471, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'professors'' or 'professor's'?
Suggestion: professors'; professor's
...t into the box at the front door of the professors office. In other words, it prevents was...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 731, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: haven't
...e because of a family issue, however, I havent finished the assignment yet and I misse...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 882, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
... and If I could upload it via online, I wouldnt have a problem. Fortunately, I got a de...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, however, if, may, moreover, so, then, thus, in conclusion, in other words, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 9.8082437276 143% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 2.0 11.0286738351 18% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 41.0 43.0788530466 95% => OK
Preposition: 62.0 52.1666666667 119% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2302.0 1977.66487455 116% => OK
No of words: 450.0 407.700716846 110% => OK
Chars per words: 5.11555555556 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.6057793516 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.01788905048 2.67179642975 113% => OK
Unique words: 248.0 212.727598566 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.551111111111 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 732.6 618.680645161 118% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.0892448373 48.9658058833 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.08 100.406767564 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.0 20.6045352989 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.52 5.45110844103 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.19031416077 0.236089414692 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0482647506109 0.076458572812 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0859321299099 0.0737576698707 117% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.13206748929 0.150856017488 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.100079637857 0.0645574589148 155% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 11.7677419355 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.12 10.9000537634 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.78 8.01818996416 110% => OK
difficult_words: 121.0 86.8835125448 139% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.