TPO 35- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

It is obvious all people in a society have the right to have their own privacy. Although it is true that famous people have a lot of advantages due to their fame and populatrity, I strongly believe that they do not have required privacy and are deserved to have more privacy than they have now. In the following paragraphs I will discuss my view using some reasons and examples.

i think poplular individuals like singers, entertaners, athletes,and so on because of their jobs are known by all people of society. People like them and are interested in visiting them. when people see them in public places, they react to them and thus famous persons do not have enough privacy and many og them are annoyed. For instance, one of the most famous athletes named ali daei in an interview in TV program said that he cannot go shopping along with his family similar to regular people because when others see him, they request him to take photographs and make a sign. As a result, they need to have more privacy like common citizens.

Moreover, I believe that the public should try to understand famous people and let them to enjoy their privacy. They should know that pooular individuals like them prefer to spend part of their time alone and feel relaxed. Sometimes it causes damage to famous people life. For instance, in my country, some of them could not to continue their marriage life and forced to divorce.

To sum up, famous individuals owing to their career are exposed to public attention. Although they are advantageous from their positions, they do not possess sufficient freedom. Therefore, it results in many problems for their private life. Common people should be aware of the fact that well-known persons also need privacy and in specific occasions they can contact their favorite person

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: I
...iew using some reasons and examples. i think poplular individuals like singers...
^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...iew using some reasons and examples. i think poplular individuals like singers...
^
Line 3, column 65, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , and
...uals like singers, entertaners, athletes,and so on because of their jobs are known b...
^^^^
Line 3, column 188, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: When
...em and are interested in visiting them. when people see them in public places, they ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 249, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...in public places, they react to them and thus famous persons do not have enough p...
^^
Line 3, column 302, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun og seems to be countable; consider using: 'many '.
Suggestion: many
... persons do not have enough privacy and many og them are annoyed. For instance, one of ...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, if, moreover, so, therefore, thus, well, for instance, i think, as a result, it is true, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 47.0 43.0788530466 109% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 52.1666666667 79% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1500.0 1977.66487455 76% => OK
No of words: 309.0 407.700716846 76% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.85436893204 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.1926597562 4.48103885553 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47821226137 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 167.0 212.727598566 79% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.540453074434 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 472.5 618.680645161 76% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.780813247 48.9658058833 112% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.75 100.406767564 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.3125 20.6045352989 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.5 5.45110844103 119% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.222366201165 0.236089414692 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0752404806757 0.076458572812 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0909168975108 0.0737576698707 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.149124085195 0.150856017488 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.114871922572 0.0645574589148 178% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.1 11.7677419355 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.85 10.9000537634 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.1 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 86.8835125448 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.