TPO 40.Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Children’s education is very important for their parents and because of that parents would their best to motivate their children. Some argue that the best way to motivate children is to offer them money if they get a good grade. However, others may support the opposite idea. In my opinion, the former view carries more weight. I take the position on account for the following reason.
Primarily, offering money to school-age children if they get a higher score in school may lead to some serious consequences. Children, at this age, are not enough matured in order to spend money in the right way. There are chances, that they might be influenced by other friends and spend it in the wrong way. One cousin is a compelling example of this. My cousin used to reward with money after getting the first rank in his class from his parents. After a few years, his parents found out him with cigarette packets. The money he was getting as a reward, he used to spend on cigarettes. Thus, his parents realized their mistake and stopped giving money to him.
Further point, children may cheat in the exam if parents offer money to them when they get a high grade in the school exam. As I mentioned earlier, children are not enough matured, it is hard for them to control their desires. A survey from the University of Chicago mentioned that students were more likely to encouraged to cheat in the exam in the past few years. The factor behind that act was money, they supposed to get as a reward if they get a high score in the exam. Additionally, once the child is addicted to using money independently and later when parents stop giving it then it may insist the child to find other inappropriate ways to earn money. Consequently, they would get a distraction in their education and parents cannot afford that for their children's better future.
On the contrary, there are plenty of creative ways to motivate the students in order to get a high score in the exam rather than merely offering money to appreciate them. Moreover, eventually, children would forget the value of money, if parents would keep providing money to them. It is the parent's responsibility to make them understand the value of the money, otherwise, when the child has grown up, they would not utilize it for their better future.
To sum up, I strongly believe that, giving money to a child for high grades have many negative consequences on his life. I think parents should try to teach their children the value of knowledge and to make them recognize and appreciate the opportunities they have been given by having access to such schools and educational systems.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 292, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'parents'' or 'parent's'?
Suggestion: parents'; parent's
...keep providing money to them. It is the parents responsibility to make them understand ...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, first, however, if, may, moreover, so, then, thus, i think, in my opinion, on the contrary, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 55.0 43.0788530466 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 67.0 52.1666666667 128% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2179.0 1977.66487455 110% => OK
No of words: 460.0 407.700716846 113% => OK
Chars per words: 4.73695652174 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.6311565067 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56044046748 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.465217391304 0.524837075471 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 674.1 618.680645161 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.8852472997 48.9658058833 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.7916666667 100.406767564 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.1666666667 20.6045352989 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.79166666667 5.45110844103 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.408250416401 0.236089414692 173% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.11793011016 0.076458572812 154% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0919156687864 0.0737576698707 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.240092951969 0.150856017488 159% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0467713466904 0.0645574589148 72% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.5 11.7677419355 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.21 10.9000537634 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.39 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 86.8835125448 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.