TPO 40.Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Essay topics:

TPO 40.
Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

There are much argue about children’s school and why we can encourage children to gain high grade? some group of people things parents must offer money for their children that give good mark in the school. According to my experience and actual observation of live have led me to agree with this statement. I have many reasons to prove my point.

The first and foremost consequential reason is that with development in the technology the number of companies that offer the interesting game has been increasing. For example, the epic game that creates a lot of interesting game for student and this variety of interesting game and some recreation like that attract people to spend a lot of their time with game and playing. because of that parent must find the right way to attract their children’s attention to their school and assignments. One of this way is to give money because they know their children must have many to promote their skill in the game and purchase some new game.

Another point that springing to my mind is that parent with give money not only encourage student to do their assignments but they prepare their children for their future life. parents know their children have to work in the future to have supplied their demand and create family. parents with this way can encourage children to have income and learn then if they want to have something they must work hard and save their money to buy it and when they receive money for their work they interested because they are the result of their troubles.

To sum it all up by taking all the detail into consideration, because of abandon the interesting recreation for the children they must found some way to encourage they to give high mark and because of then some parents give the money to their children and beside this they prepare their children for their future life.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 105, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Some
... encourage children to gain high grade? some group of people things parents must off...
^^^^
Line 3, column 377, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Because
...ot of their time with game and playing. because of that parent must find the right way ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 178, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Parents
...e their children for their future life. parents know their children have to work in the...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 282, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Parents
...upplied their demand and create family. parents with this way can encourage children to...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...heir children for their future life.
^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, so, then, for example

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 15.1003584229 40% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 48.0 43.0788530466 111% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 52.1666666667 88% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1557.0 1977.66487455 79% => OK
No of words: 323.0 407.700716846 79% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.82043343653 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.23936324884 4.48103885553 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.49655035221 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 138.0 212.727598566 65% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.427244582043 0.524837075471 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 470.7 618.680645161 76% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 9.59856630824 10% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 20.6003584229 58% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 75.0025925478 48.9658058833 153% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.75 100.406767564 129% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.9166666667 20.6045352989 131% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.08333333333 5.45110844103 57% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.360724282485 0.236089414692 153% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.155680034231 0.076458572812 204% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.110161432975 0.0737576698707 149% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.255170581514 0.150856017488 169% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0465387937054 0.0645574589148 72% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.7 11.7677419355 125% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.97 10.9000537634 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.73 8.01818996416 84% => OK
difficult_words: 37.0 86.8835125448 43% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.